UH OH. Guess who just came to visit Ted? Cotter with a box of peppermint bark, which both he and Nicole know is Ted's "favorite thing in the whole world." Really? Peppermint bark? What a weirdo. Ted is asleep, the result of the new meds he's on, so Cotter and Nicole get a chance to talk. Nicole updates Cotter on Ted's condition, then asks why he wasn't invited to their wedding. "Ted and I had a falling out," Cotter says, holding back tears. Nicole is suspicious. Cotter says he and Ted were "roommates" for three years. Then he cries and holds Ted's hand. Straight men never cry or hold other men's hands. Cotter lets go of Ted, apologizing and saying he "misses" Ted. "I think you should leave," Nicole says; "NOW. Please." Cotter does. Are we sure that Cotter is gay? He's a sloppy dresser with terrible hair.
Ted wakes up to find Nicole waiting at his bedside. She tells him that Cotter visited him while he was asleep, and asks who he is to Ted. Ted claims he's a former roommate, but Nicole doesn't believe him anymore. Ted says that one night, he got really drunk and Cotter took advantage of him. "The whole thing was a mistake," he says. "Are you saying you had sex with him?" Nicole asks. "I was drunk and confused," Ted says. You'd have to be pretty damn confused to mistake a penis for a vagina, dude. That's not gonna fly. "You're GAY?" Nicole asks. Ted says he isn't, but he thought he was and almost told his family (after a one-night stand with his roommate? Get your stories straight, Ted ... ), but the thought of admitting he was gay disgusted him. He figured that was because he wasn't actually gay, and "went to get help." "So ... you're not gay?" Nicole asks. "They cured me," Ted says. It slowly sinks in to Nicole that she almost married someone in ridiculous amounts of denial. You can see it on her face. "It's all in the past now. It doesn't matter anymore," Ted says. And then he gets a big gay headache.
Taub heads into House's office to inform him that Ted has a new symptom of severe headaches. House is more concerned with his online poker game (do people still even do that?) and whether or not Taub has been practicing safe sex with Maya. He tells Taub to do a spinal tap on Ted.