Jamie "Apollo from Battlestar Galactica" Bamber is a beloved small-town fella by the name of Bob. And he's got a problem when he has a heart attack in the middle of an illicit experience with Miss Cedarville. That's her official title, not her name. As far as I know. Anyway, this drags Bob into the clutches of PPTH, where House's team has ballooned up to four, thanks to the return of Chase and Taub.
The wrong diagnoses range up and down Bob's body until they kind of settle into his liver, which is so bad and is going to have to be replaced. When all the Cedarvillians crowd into the hospital to see if they're eligible to donate parts of their livers to Good Ol' Bob, Bob takes the opportunity to confess to a wide variety of local crimes, including theft from a scholarship fund. Everyone leaves in a huff! Then Bob's skin all peels off, then it turns out to be an aneurysm, and then he can plausibly deny even the initial escapade with Miss Cedarville. So everything's fine for Bob, although Adams appears to have some sort of obsession with guys who cheat on their wives. So it's going to be like that, then.
And in non-patient-related news, House spends the episode trying to get under Taub's skin about the possibility that neither of the children he's taking care of are biologically related to him. Taub ends up shredding the file that would tell them the answer, but it's not like he couldn't just take another DNA swab if he changes his mind. Oh, and House builds a secret passage from his office into Wilson's. Of course he does.
It's small-town America! Fire engine tours! A banjo! Miss Cedarville! A fat, jolly mayor with an adorable little bowtie! You know, all that sort of thing. The mayor is giving an award to Coach Bob of the Little League team, who is an all-around Good Guy. He owns the only gas station in town, and he's Bob Harris. He's also Jamie Bamber, who was Apollo on Battlestar Galactica! The lovely young Miss Cedarville brings him a gold trophy, and the town applauds. He raises the cup.
At night, there's the sound of a hot make-out session between Bob and Miss Cedarville. In mid-coitus, he collapses on her. She doesn't seem delighted to be crushed under his body. She figures he's having a heart attack and promptly starts to call the ambulance, but he wants to be driven to the hospital instead. That's what an ambulance does, dummy. I understand if you don't want to be caught having sex with Miss Cedarville, but surely some eyebrows will be raised if she's the one who drops you off at the emergency room at 3:00 AM?
In his swanky office, Foreman welcomes "new employees" Chase and Taub. Chase says he's coming back so he can do "crazy crap" and Taub just wants to save people's lives. Foreman, as the new Dean of Medicine, now looks askance at all the crazy nonsense that House's team tends to get up to. Chase reads Foreman's notes and points out that Foreman wants them to spy for him. But he won't do it! Foreman is foiled. Also -- and this is going to be a big plot element tonight -- Taub needs a babysitter for his two baby girls because he wasn't planning on coming back until next week. Remember those two babies Taub was getting?
Adams, in the now-vacant external office, runs down the case at hand. Park reports that the patient said he was at work when his heart went weird. Chase and Taub enter, so I guess this is the whole team now. House says Chase and Taub are late, although Taub insists that he's a week early. House thinks Chase and Adams look cute together, and the other two don't. House says the rug burn and knee abrasions mean the patient is lying. Adams says the patient attributes the abrasions to flag football, and House rearranges that into "having sex." This gives Taub an excuse to say, "Everybody lies." Park makes the mistake of thinking that, just because Taub has two babies of about the same age, they must be twins and House gleefully disabuses her of that notion. I don't think the show wants to spend too much time reminding us of the plot complications that took place last season that resulted in Taub having two children by two different mothers. Then House tries to convince Taub that they're not even his children, even though Taub insists that they look like him. It's a baldness joke.