House
House

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Sara M: A- | 1713 USERS: B-
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Three's Company

House sticks Eddie in an exam room he's turned into a makeshift interrogation room and demands a sample of his drugs thusly: "I NEED THE DRUGS!" It does not get the intended result. "Hmm. Works for Jack Bauer," House says, adding, "who you can see on the new season of 24 in a four-hour, two-day season premiere beginning Sunday, January 17th at 9 PM following the hot new series Human Target!" Eddie gives a little by saying he "wishes" he could tell House what he wants to know. It turns out he can if he claims that he works in textiles. So House has to play a fun little game where he asks if Eddie deals in "H ... for hosiery." "We deal more in culottes," Eddie says, amazingly knowing the proper spelling of the word. I always thought it was "kulats" until I typed that in and the spell check yelled at me so I looked it up. House asks if Mickey "cuts" the "fabric," but Eddie says no -- "no one touches the culottes."

At this point, Wilson walks right on to interrupt House's progress and to tell him the urgent news that the entire building they live in thinks they're a gay couple. Because that's something that needs to be talked about during work hours. Come on, Wilson. This is why all your patients die. House isn't too bothered about it, saying that's a natural conclusion for people to draw when two men over the age of 30 move in together. Especially when one of them is Wilson. House says they'll figure out that they're straight eventually, but that's not good enough for Wilson, who wants to date "the cute girl in 3B." Why not the cute girls in Apartment 3-G? Stay away from Margo, though -- she's a bitch! Meanwhile, the culotte dealer would like a glass of water. Without a second though, Wilson immediately gets it for him while saying that just telling 3B wasn't enough, as she still "side-stepped" his dinner invite. He says it must be because she thinks he's gay and not because she isn't interested in him. Then he answers House's question about what a culotte is. But he's not gay! Eddie says Mickey doesn't "wear" "culottes," so he trusts him implicitly to watch the product without dabbling in it himself. Then he wonders why it's taking so long for Mickey to come back from his test. "It's an ear test. I'm pretty sure he'll live," House says.

House

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