This week's patient is a drug dealer named Mickey who collapses when he hears a loud noise. His concerned friend and fellow dealer Eddie brings Mickey to PPTH, where House immediately figures out what Mickey's line of work is and bases his diagnosis on exposure to nasty chemicals he assumes Mickey cuts drugs with. The Cottages, meanwhile, half-heartedly supply their own diagnoses but are more concerned with playing a practical joke on Foreman by making him think they all get paid more than he does. That backfires when Foreman demands that Cuddy give him a raise or he'll walk, and she tells him to walk. The Cottages feel very bad about this and come clean to Cuddy and offer to give Foreman a raise taken from their own paychecks. It turns out that Foreman was lying to them all along because he's worked for House for long enough by now to know when he's being screwed with. He might also have realized it because that was theme of this week's episode. The Cottages and Foreman screw with each other over fake paychecks, House and Wilson screw with each other in order to sleep with a cute neighbor who thinks they're a gay couple, and Mickey kind of screws with his doctors by not telling them that he is actually an undercover cop because he didn't want to compromise a huge impending bust he sacrificed the past sixteen months of his life for. Though Eddie was a good friend to him, he still lets him walk out and get arrested along with the other dealers. Still, Eddie fares better than Mickey, who ultimately ends up dying from an autoimmune disease that House didn't catch until it was too late, probably because he and his team were too busy playing games to give their patient the full attention he deserved.
We open on some shady dealings in a parking garage. Eddie and his assistant Mickey try to sell drugs to some guy named Marco, who wants them to cut him a deal. Eddie won't go for it, causing Marco's assistant, Tom, to pull out a gun and point it at Eddie's head, demanding that he show Marco "some respect." First of all, Eddie wasn't being disrespectful. He was being a good businessman. Second of all, I don't think this kind of stuff actually happens except in movies. Well, and TV shows. Mickey steps in front of the gun and tries to wrestle it away from Tom. It goes off and Mickey falls to the ground, looking dead. No one's happy about this development. But he wasn't shot, which Tom proves by showing off his foot and the hole he just blew into it. He and Marco take off, leaving Eddie begging Mickey to wake up.
LOL Jennifer Morrison is still in the credits. I hope she gets paid for that. I doubt it, though.
House is on stitch-up duty for some reason and tries to fix the gash in Mickey's head that he somehow got in the scuffle. He recommends that Mickey get a CT scan, but Mickey protests, probably because drug dealing doesn't come with health insurance. That also explains why they're at the Clinic, although not, so much, why House is on Clinic duty. Not that I'm complaining; I like it when the writers remember these things. I just wish it happened more often. House immediately figures out that his patient and his patient's friend are up to shenanigans and that Mickey has a much bigger problem than a scrape and an unexplained blackout. Mickey doesn't care and tries to walk out, only for House to prove it by banging his cane against the gurney, creating a sudden loud sound that takes Mickey out again.
GUYS!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! CHASE GOT A HAIRCUT! Like, a real one this time. Somehow, it makes him look both 12 years old and like a professional doctor at the same time. House takes note of it by asking if Cameron got his hair in their divorce, which I'm guessing is now final. Cameron is free to marry yet another winner. Maybe this time she'll meet a guy who kills people while also dying from a terminal illness. Oh! She could be one of those women who try to start relationships with men on death row! Chase should have fired back that House lost all of his hair when he went to the mental hospital, but I think we're supposed to forget that that ever happened at this point, so he doesn't. House hands out copies of Mickey's file to the Cottages. Taub notes that it's blank except for a strained back three years ago. House says Mickey is reluctant to provide details since he's a drug dealer, as House figured out by a wealth of circumstantial evidence: Mickey and his boss had expensive jewelry on and pre-paid cell phones. Meanwhile, Foreman gets bored and goes for a walk around the meeting room, picking up and pocketing a piece of paper he finds on the floor before returning to his seat and diagnosing Mickey with acoustic neuroma. House has an alternate diagnosis: lidocaine toxicity from cutting coke with non-coke substances. Even though they don't know for sure that Mickey is a drug dealer or that, if so, he deals cocaine.