The Down Low

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | Grade It Now!
Three's Company

As Mickey steels himself for the lumbar puncture, he gives his doctors some helpful advice, saying next time they want to follow someone they should take two cars. Instead of saying thanks, Chase lectures Mickey on the fact that he sells harmful drugs to people and that's wrong. Chase, who murdered a patient, has a problem with drug dealers? Okay. Mickey points out that liquor store owners sell alcohol that has the same potential to send people to the ER, but he doubts they'd lecture one if he ended up as one of their patients. Oh, I don't know about that, Mickey. These doctors are really good at finding faults in their patients and lecturing them about them. So yes, they probably would tell off a liquor store owner. At this point, Taub inserts the needle into Mickey's back and hits bone, which sucks for Mickey. Taub's second try is successful, although Chase notices that Mickey's heart rate has stayed normal during what should be a stressful process.

Wilson stops by House's office to say that 3B told him she and House had an "Evita listening party" last night. Ha ha ha! House takes a second to enjoy the fruits of his labors. He says he told 3B that they weren't gay like Wilson asked him to, but for some reason she didn't believe him. "You're doing this to mess with me," Wilson says. Yeah, no shit, Wilson. What did you think he would do? Did you forget who you live with? Honestly, I blame Wilson for this. He just handed House an opportunity on a silver platter. House says messing with Wilson was his primary reason, but now he's moved onto doing it to try to sleep with 3B. That makes no sense. Straight women don't want to sleep with gay men. Am I right, girls? I mean, that can't possibly be fun. Sure, he probably smells nicer and is fitter than a straight guy, but he's also fantasizing that you're a man the entire time. That can't be good for your self-esteem. But House thinks that if he keeps confiding in 3B about his fake relationship woes (which he's blamed entirely on Wilson, which is so unfair even if it is fictional) then they'll bond and one night, get drunk and sleep together. And the next morning, he'll realize that he was straight all along. Yeah, because that happens. Tons of guys think they're gay until they actually experience a woman. We women are just that awesome. Wilson says House certainly has put a lot of work into sleeping with the woman Wilson expressed interest in. House shrugs and says he's interested in her, too. "I saw her first," Wilson says. "Seriously? You're invoking the guy code?" House asks, saying that Wilson is only doing this because he doesn't think he can win 3B any other way. Well, no, now that she thinks he's both gay and bad at communicating. Chase walks in to say there was no sign of infection in the lumbar puncture, but the fact that Mickey's heart rate didn't go up when they stuck a needle into his spine suggests some kind of nerve disorder. House has another idea.

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