House
The Greater Good

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 2 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Bloated

Dana is impressed to be getting a CT scan so quickly, saying that PPTH must be more high-tech than her hospital. Ooooh, which hospital is that? Could it be ... St. Sebastian's, a.k.a. Bizarro PPTH? Hadley says that being House's patient means CT scans whenever you want them, albeit CT scans performed by a plastic surgeon and a Chick With Issues as opposed to trained radiographers and radiologists. Taub non-sarcastically says that Dana is a "gift to society," so they want her back up and running and curing stuff ASAP. Dana picks this time to say that she actually quit her job eight months ago. It would have been really funny if the Cottages had backed out of the room and stuck Dana in the "regular people" patient pool, never to darken House's doorstep again at this point, but no. They just listen as she tells them that she had a benign uterine myoma that ruptured, causing her to need emergency surgery and take stock of her life thus far. Do you think that when they told her the news she said "my oh my oh myoma?" Anyway, the whole experience made Dana realize that she could have died without ever having been happy. Hadley suggests buying an overpriced sports car and having an affair. Taub looks uncomfortable because he did that in the wrong order. Dana says she's now focused on doing what she wants, when she wants to. Right now, that's learning how to cook and run a kitchen. That doesn't sound like fun to me, but to each her own. Being a doctor was what she was "supposed" to do. Cooking is what she wants to do. At least she got a chance to do it, unlike all those kids who die from retinoblastoma.

Cuddy is back at work with a giant Macbook Pro. Too bad they came out with a new design only a few days after Cuddy dropped over two grand on a now-outdated model! House comes in the office, and Cuddy calls him to the other side of the desk to check out the live baby cam she's hooked up because she has apparently lost her mind. Does she really think that House wants to see baby videos? House complains about the elevators being out of order every time he tries to use them, because that's an issue to bring to the Dean of Medicine. Cuddy just sighs that elevators are "capricious" and sometimes it seems like they're out to get you. Meanwhile, Cuddy's annoyed that Rachel keeps playing with her blanket. "Why would she do that?" she wonders disgustedly. Maybe she's trying to smother herself to get away from her shitty mother? As for the elevators, "maybe they wanted to take time off to spend with their little dumbwaiter. But then they had to leave it at home with an elevator-sitter because you drove the replacement elevator to quitting because you're incapable of listening to anybody but me," Cuddy guesses. I don't think so, Cuddy. You see, those elevators come in twos, so they could easily switch off staying home and going to work without having to hire an elevator-sitter or feel sad about missing precious time with their little dumbwaiter. Also, those elevators would have thought long and hard about the sacrifices they'd have to make in order to properly care for a dumbwaiter and done what was in the dumbwaiter's best interest as opposed to getting dumbwaiter fever and deciding they wouldn't be happy without one, even though their demanding jobs meant that the dumbwaiter would spend most of its time with an elevator-sitter. And if they didn't do that, they probably wouldn't turn around and blame the problems they created for themselves and their dumbwaiter on someone else. But that's just a guess.

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House

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