House

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Sara M: A- | 1 USERS: B+
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House Call

Wow, I really hate outdoor propane mosquito traps. Who knew? House turns the machine on, and soon the mosquito is there. House didn't bother to read the part of the directions where the machine traps the mosquito, so when it lands on a spigot, he smacks it with the rolled-up instructions. And misses, knocking the spigot off so that propane is now shooting into the house. House is too busy swatting at the mosquito, now in the kitchen, to care about that. The mosquito lands on an oven switch, and House swats it again. The mosquito flies away unharmed, but one of the burners has been turned on. House looks at the fire, then back to the propane tank. "Huh," he says. "KABOOM!" says his house. But of course, it was just a dream. You could tell because House wasn't limping. And because that explosion would have killed him and we can't have that. At least, not until the season finale, and even then only temporarily. I thought that was really clever, though, to tie the symbolic mosquito into a gas explosion like the one that came out of Stewart's intestines. Kind of like how real dreams work.

House heads to Wilson's place. It's the middle of the night, but Wilson answers the door anyway, asking House if this is really where he wants to be right now. "Ric Ocasek'll kill if I ... oh, you mean Cuddy!" House says. Okay, I think what he meant be that is that if he could be anywhere in the world right now, he'd be having sex with Ric Ocasek's supermodel wife. But that's a guess. If I'm wrong, I'm sure I'll get emails! Undaunted, Wilson lists off all of Cuddy's good qualities, including the most important: that she can stand to be around House. House says he isn't here for lecture, but to get away from the "killer mosquito" in his apartment. Wilson denies the existence of any mosquito, saying he thinks that House is imagining both the mosquito and the bite. House denies this, but Wilson points out that House was "bitten" the night he kissed Cuddy, and his itching only gets worse when he's thinking about or is around her. The only cure for it, Wilson says, is to talk to Cuddy and get things out in the open, but House won't do it because he's afraid if things don't work out with her then there's no one out there for him. "I'm better off alone," House says, getting real for a second before commenting on the size of Cuddy's ass. Wilson refuses to let House sleep over tonight, saying he can either go back to his symbolic mosquito-infested house or go to Cuddy's place and ask her out. At there in the morning. Wilson really is setting them both up for failure, isn't he?

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House

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