House
The Jerk

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Jerked Around

And neither can the nurse they unwisely send to Nate's room to collect the urine sample after a night of starvation, who almost has her head taken off by an IV-pole-wielding Nate. "Honey. Please. Don't," Enid halfheartedly attempts to parent. Chase and Foreman rush in and try to calm Nate down, saying they just need a urine sample and this will all be over in a few hours. "You want your sample? Here's your damn sample!" he says, and sure enough, we cut to the floor between his legs where a stream of pee soon collects. That's immediately followed by a stream of blood.

When we come back, Cameron voiceovers that Nate's bloody piss was caused by kidney failure, and he'll be on dialysis for the rest of his life. Fun! House says there's not much of that life left if they don't figure out what's wrong with him. Cameron pulls HIV infection out of her ass, but Chase discounts that right quick, refusing to believe that anyone would sleep with Nate. Foreman wonders if the elevated levels of uric acid in Nate's pee are important. Chase doesn't think so, saying they fed the kid meat and his kidneys are done, so uric acid would be a normal occurrence. House tells him to do a blood test on any curable conditions related to the elevated uric acid anyway, and Foreman unwisely says he will until he has to leave for another job interview. I think he wants them to get cancelled if he's going to announce them, knowing that someone at PPTH is using that information against him. Hell, maybe Foreman's the one sabotaging his own interviews and accusing House to throw everyone off the scent. Personally, I think it's Chase...although he doesn't strike me as caring enough about Foreman one way or the other. Cameron's probably too busy on her third draft of Foreman's peer review (now with pink pen ink and kewl stickers!) to do it, and it can't be House or Cuddy since they accused other people. So that leaves Wilson, I guess.

Foreman takes blood from Nate, although not without first shooting him up with a sedative before Nate can make too many gay jokes. Enid sort of has a problem with Foreman unnecessarily knocking her son out, although I think that's mostly jealousy.

Cameron can't take the elevator without having her ride hijacked by a nervous Wilson, who tells her that he's about to be fired by Cuddy for sabotaging Foreman's interview. Cameron sees right through his pathetic lie and even more pathetic acting job and figures out that Wilson was trying to get Cameron to admit that she was the one who sabotaged the interview. Wilson grouses that Cameron would've fallen for it three years ago. Wilson says that he's just using Cuddy's logic that whoever screwed up the interview did it because she cares for House. Which leaves THE WEIRD NIGHT JANITOR WHO WEARS HIS PANTS BACKWARDS! Bring him in for questioning, I say, since Cameron denies having anything to do with it, unconvincingly saying she doesn't care about House. Then she does some smell-the-fart acting, which I guess is supposed to mean "thinking about who could have sabotaged the interview."

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