The Jerk

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A-
Jerked Around

The hamburger test starts with three hamburger patties being presented to Nate, who disgustedly says that this doesn't look like a medical test. He tells "Doogie" (oooh, burn on you, Chase!) that if he wants Nate to eat meat, he should get him something good, like steak or roast beef. Enid volunteers to bring him something from home, an edge to her voice suggesting that she would have no problem putting a little bit of poison in there as well, but Cameron says it has to be something prepared at PPTH. Nate refuses to eat anything prepared by "five-dollar-an-hour immigrant cooks in hairnets." Would you rather they didn't wear hairnets? Chase snaps and tells him to shut the fuck up. Nate seems surprised by the outburst, making me wonder if this is the first time anyone has said that to him. Chase follows this up with a threat to tie Nate to the bed and shove the hamburgers down his throat if he doesn't eat them voluntarily. Nate calls his bluff, but it's not a bluff at all, as Chase starts calling the nurse in with a full set of body restraints. "Yes, doctor!" we hear her respond instantly, like being called to a room with a full set body restraints isn't momentous enough to even give her pause. Nate decides that Chase is serious and starts eating. See, Enid? Parenting isn't that hard. All you have to do is take a stand and show your child you won't back down.

Meanwhile, Cuddy marches over to Wilson and accuses him of being the one who sabotaged Foreman's job interview, saying that if it wasn't her and it wasn't House, then it was someone trying to protect House, which leaves Cuddy with only two people in all of PPTH: Wilson, and "the weird night janitor who wears his pants backwards." Um, okay...WHY HAVEN'T WE SEEN THIS AWESOME CHARACTER?!?! How DARE they mention a character with such possibilities in passing without even showing him to us? I DEMAND an episode devoted to this person, if not an entire spin-off! If Grey's Anatomy can give one to that woman, then surely there is a place on the Fox schedule for a Weird Night Janitor Who Wears His Pants Backwards. He could solve mysteries or something. I don't care what he does as long as he's there and House occasionally stops by to visit. Oh, better yet -- Evil Nurse Brenda teams up with him, and they travel across country and encounter various interesting people. Like Highway to Heaven, but with a lot less God and a lot more pants being worn backwards and Evil Nurse Brenda's homicidal rage. I can't wait for the origins episode where we learn why the night janitor wears his pants backwards. I think that will be insightful, but also touching. I suggest noted character actor Dan Hedaya for the role.

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