House
The Mistake

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Unhappy Accident

House butters up the "best transplant surgeon in the hospital" and tells him that Kayla will die without his Godlike powers. "Get her in this afternoon," the surgeon says as he basks in the glow of his heroism. "Thank you very much," House says, humbly and warmly. "My pleasure!" says the surgeon. They're about to shake hands when Stacy freezes it because she knows none of that is true.

Back in the present, we see that House has been telling this part of the story, of course. Stacy asks him what really happened with the surgeon. He says he'd rather not tell the hospital's lawyer about any unethical activities he may have engaged in with another hospital employee. Stacy reminds him that whatever he tells her is protected under attorney-client privilege, which should inspire lots of confidence there, since that whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing always works so well. Not to mention the fact that PPTH is Stacy's client here, not House. But House is convinced and tells Stacy the truth. "It was kinda cool," he says.

The surgeon is furious that House would even suggest that he basically execute a woman who's dying well enough on her own anyway. House whips out an envelope full of money -- five grand, with fifteen more to come after the surgery. The surgeon laughs out loud and says he won't be "tanking" his "percentages" for a measly twenty thousand dollars when he makes $600,000 a year. Furthermore, he hopes House and Chase both get fired very unceremoniously. House smiles and says he'll just be going to inform the surgeon's wife that her husband has been sleeping with several nurses, which should cost the surgeon about $300,000 of alimony payments a year. You see, at last year's Christmas party (which I have a really hard time believing House attended), House noticed how familiar Nurse Cutler and the surgeon were with each other. He also noticed the used condom stuck to the surgeon's shoe, which I'm assuming House was checking out because he does, after all, love shoes. House would hate to have to send the surgeon's wife an anonymous letter detailing her husband's exploits, but he does have an OR booked this afternoon that the surgeon is free to use if he wants to avoid this fate. The surgeon agrees to do the surgery. House informs the surgeon that while he may be the "worst transplant surgeon in this hospital," he is the best transplant surgeon who's also cheating on his wife.

Needless to say, Stacy doesn't approve of the bribery and blackmail. House says that if he hadn't done it, Kayla would have died. Instead, she'll have surgery performed by the worst transplant surgeon in the entire hospital who's too stupid not to notice a used condom stuck to his shoe and is doing the surgery under duress. Stacy asks House about "that incident in the parking lot." We cut to a hysterical blonde woman keying the hell out of the surgeon's convertible as he begs her to stop and says he "didn't do anything." House grins that someone sent an anonymous letter to the surgeon's wife. By the way, the surgeon's last name? Ayersman, which just happens to be the same last name of Kayla's daughters' talent show rival, the one whose convertible Kayla threatened to key. Well played, writers.

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