House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 1246 USERS: C+
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New Kids On The Block

Back in class, House says it's cutting time. Fired are: 21, 19, 8, 34, 17, 29, 5, 36, and 2. Kumar is thrilled that he didn't get fired again. 2 is pissed off that she did. The rest of the Numbers don't have speaking parts. House tells the remaining Numbers to report to work at eight tomorrow morning, although he'll be there "sometime between noon and three." Ah, it's nice to be the boss. House sends everyone away except for Old Guy 26. 2 refuses to leave without an explanation: "I deed notheenk vrong!" she says. House says she never took the chances that would cause her to do anything wrong, and that's why she's fired. Bye, 2! On the plus side, you can still wield the power of Wind and save the Earth from bad guys who like to loot and plunder. On the minus side, you have to do it with Ma-Ti on your team.

House asks Old Guy how old he is. "Twenty-one unless it's relevant," Old Guy repeats. House says it isn't. What is relevant is the fact that Old Guy never went to medical school. Dude, is he going to end up being one of those mental ward escapees who tricks everyone into thinking he's a real doctor? Because I saw that on Night Court already, and it was lame (except for the parts with Dan Fielding in them). Actually, Old Guy works in the Columbia Med School admissions office, which means we can blame him for Matt Camden's acceptance. Old Guy just went from my favorite Number to the Person With The Worst Judgment Ever. He says he's audited every class there multiple times, which means he's also known as Creepy Old Guy Who's Always In Our Classes, What's Up With That? Anyway, that explains why he didn't do the transesophageal thing. Old Guy says he was hoping House would break a rule for Old Guy, like, come on, dude. That's like asking a cop who lets you off of a speeding ticket with just a warning if you can go commit murder. House has decided to make up for crushing one dream with granting another, though, and he agrees to let Old Guy stay on as his "assistant." In fact, he gives him that title because it's "marginally less demeaning" than "secretary." Kinda like how, at my day job, I'm a "receptionist/assistant." Except I think all that means is that they get two employees out of me but only have to pay for one. "It's not my dream job," Old Guy grouses. "Actually, it is. Just not your dream title," House says. Seriously, Weird Beard. Either appreciate the gesture or go to school to become a physician's assistant.

House

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