House

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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New Kids On The Block

The Numbers spring into action. Kumar grabs some defibrillator paddles and brings them into the chamber. 18 reminds him that paddles and hyperbaric chambers don't mix, while Anne hilariously just turns and runs out of there so as not to catch fire or get in trouble. Like, she just left and never looked back. She does not care if Pilot lives or dies, as long she doesn't get in trouble with House. 18 backs off, and Kumar shocks Pilot. Sparks fly. Literally. "She's on fire!" 18 exclaims, as if the red flashing lights and loud fire-alarm buzzers were not enough to tell us this already. 18 throws a blanket over the fire on Pilot's chest as Kumar grabs an extinguisher and sprays it all over her. "Her heart's beating!" Kumar reports. "And we are so fired," 18 says. And then the sprinklers go off. Little late, there, guys. They would have gotten the fire out quicker by driving Pilot to the car wash and throwing her in there than waiting for the sprinklers.

After the commercial, Kumar is quick to tell House that the hyperbaric chamber did not cause Pilot's heart attack. Anne is quick to point out that Pilot was set on fire due to Kumar's foolhardy move of bringing charged paddles into an oxygenated room. House is quick to point out that Anne let Kumar bring those paddles in, so either she thought it would work, or she knew it wouldn't and wanted him to fail, thereby getting her closer to getting the job at the expense of the patient's life. House calls her a "cutthroat little pixie" for this. Kumar resists the urge to point and laugh at her. Meanwhile, the blonde twins bicker about possible diagnoses, and we see that their numbers are 15A and 15B. Which is awesome. House orders them to stop, as it's too distracting for every "male and lesbian" in the room. Okay but...what are the gay men distracted by? Thinking of ways to fix the twins' bad perms? It doesn't matter, as both of their diagnoses are wrong.

Old Guy pipes up and guesses a cardiomyopathy, which caused both the heart attack and threw clots to Pilot's brain. "How old are you?" House responds. "I'm twenty-one. Unless it's relevant," Old Guy answers. He's Forever 21! Gonna buy some cheap clothes that fit oddly! House sends him off to do a transesophageal echo with 2 and 13 assisting, since their numbers are factors of his number. The rest of the class is sent to the hospital cafeteria to document ten things in there that could cause infection. I'll give them a hint: the chicken on fajita-chicken Fridays. That's universally infection-filled in hospital cafeterias.

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House

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