House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 1994 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Double House, Double Wilson

Kumar checks out Nick's eyes and notes that they're looking red. Nick says that's probably from his guilt and worry-induced insomnia, and tells his wife, who's a glutton for punishment and sitting in the corner of the room, that she might benefit from a few hours of sleep as well. Kumar agrees, but Wife thinks Nick is trying to make her leave because he's afraid he'll say something mean to her. Well, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. You should be afraid of that, too. Leave the room and let actions speak louder than words in your marriage. Geez! But no, Wife is now afraid that Nick is holding back something even worse than what he's already said, and she apparently wants to hear it even as she pretends that she doesn't. Nick says he doesn't know what he'll say, and that's why he wants her to stay away. "This is pathetic," Wife says. She really is stupid. On her way out, Nick asks her to tell Marika that he loves her very much. Wife is sure Marika knows that, but Nick thinks she's just saying that to make him feel better. "Yeah," Wife says. Uh ... Wife? You're not the one with the frontal lobe disinhibition, so your only excuse for brutal honesty is that you're petty.

Kumar finds House waiting outside Wilson's office. He says he found something in the medical history they missed after all -- Moron Wife is a dog rescuer, and her latest case is a freaking Rottweiler that has taken over the house and marks his territory all over the living room. Who brings an untrained Rottweiler home to a house with a small stupid child in it? Stupid Wife, that's who. I think Nick's brain damaged itself to drive her away. And it was doing Nick a big favor. Nick recalled putting a glass of juice on the floor while he was trying to fix the TV recently, and the dog could have marked it as his territory. That, combined with the red eyes, points to Weil's disease. Worse than that, though, it means that Nick drank dog pee. Gross! House tells Kumar to start treating Nick with antibiotics and see if he improves as Taub exits Wilson's office.

House meets up with Taub in his office. Taub has a bunch of emails Wilson let him print out to try to throw House off the case. And by revealing that to House, Taub is now a quadruple agent. No wonder his nose is so big with all the lies he's been telling. House doesn't think much of this, since Wilson would only let Taub print out emails he didn't mind if House saw. But Taub managed to get a hold of Wilson's deleted, not-for-House's-eyes emails when Wilson wasn't looking. Sorry, Wilson -- Taub's loyalty to you ended as soon as it wasn't in his own self-interest to preserve it. House finds an email to a "J. Gonzales" at Mercy confirming an appointment for the night of the monster truck rally. Taub's already checked it out, and says Mercy has an oncologist named Joan Gonzales. House finds a picture of her and assumes that Wilson is trying to hook up with her, but Taub says the email came with a password-protected patient file, so it's a legit meeting. House isn't so sure -- the only patient file Wilson would password-protect to keep House from seeing is Wilson's own. Taub wonders if Wilson has cancer, but House doesn't see why he'd drive three hours to Mercy to see their oncologist when he could get PPTH's best treatment. Uh, I think that's a very good reason why Wilson would want to seek treatment far, far away from PPTH. Their best treatment is everyone else's worst. Plus, they only have one oncologist, so if he's got cancer, he's going to have to outsource. Also, Mercy is three hours away from PPTH? What was Hadley thinking, trying to get a job there a few episodes back? That long distance relationships are a good plan? With that, House pulls up some articles written by Dr. Joan Gonzalez. They're all about suicidal cancer patients. Wow, what a fun line of work Joan went into there. She must be a real hit at parties. Taub suggests that Wilson is depressed. House says no and immediately kicks Taub out of the room.

House

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