House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 1995 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Double House, Double Wilson

With that, Taub gets the test started while the wife decides to leave her husband's bedside in his time of need to do some last-minute planning for a breast cancer walk. Nick just says it's too bad his nose isn't as big as Taub's, because then that scope would fit much easier. Wife decides to stay in the room, presumably to stop her husband from insulting everyone (not like she's done a good job at that before). She stupidly announces her intentions, which just opens her up for some fire from Nick about how breast cancer walks are stupid and pointless. He thinks their efforts would be better suited if they built homes for Habitat for Humanity for breast cancer instead of tying up traffic. You know what? He's totally right. That's a great idea. This frontal lobe disinhibition seems to make people very sensible. Wife asks Nick why he walked last year if he thinks those walks are so stupid, and Nick says if he refused, his wife wouldn't have sex with him. Everyone looks grateful that Marika's auditory processing disorder means she has no idea what her father is saying right now. The wife decides to leave the room again, leaving Marika in there, exposed to any and all inappropriate and mean comments from her father. Nick begs Taub to cure him, then makes another crack about Taub's big nose. Whoever wrote this episode hates Peter Jacobson.

House has made plans for him and Wilson on Wednesday night: a monster truck match. On a Wednesday night? I thought those only happened on SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!! Wilson won't be seeing it no matter what day it's on, as he informs House that he doesn't like monster trucks and never did. House can't believe it, but Wilson insists that he's been faking his love of monster trucks this whole time. But he can keep silent no longer: "death to monster trucks!" he says. I think that kind of already happened. In, like, 1993. House refuses to believe Wilson, saying he must be hiding something. Kumar interrupts to tell House that they didn't find any nasal cancer in Nick, who's going to be on the business end of a divorce soon if they can't cure his frontal lobe disinhibition. Why would Kumar tell House that? Does he think House really cares about his patient's marriage? Wilson remarks that it sounds like House's new patient is his colleague in asshole. Kumar says that's only until they cure him, but House disagrees. Just because Nick is usually able to stop himself from saying asshole comments doesn't mean he isn't an asshole deep down inside. This frontal lobe disinhibition is only his true self coming through. Wilson begs to differ, saying that the fact that Nick doesn't say his asshole thoughts and has worked hard to create a nice guy persona for himself means he really is a nice guy. This gives House the chance to say that Wilson is "all persona" and Kumar the chance to show off his supreme nerdiness by comparing Nick to Harry Potter, whose inner nature should have placed him in the Slytherin house but he refused and was put in the Gryffindor house instead. House just stares at Kumar, most likely thinking that the fact that he doesn't understand how saying something like that exposes him to endless mockery from House is enough to make said endless mockery a waste of time. Instead, he sends Kumar off to scan Nick's brain for damage.

House

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