House
The Socratic Method

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Pennies From Hell

Friedman's mom struggles as Foreman tries to take a blood sample. She spits in his face, and even though it looks very airy, that's not a recommended course of action in dealing with Doctor Trainface. Friedman's mom continues to yell that they can't take her blood, but Foreman order five milligrams of Haldol, and adds a "stat," which in layman's terms means "I ain't fucking around with that shit, bitches." Anyway, Friedman's mom passes out.

We get a close-up of two people holding hands. On one person's wrist is a fugly bracelet that reads "Mom," and on the other person's is a matching fugly bracelet that says "Wendy." Pulling back, we see that the mom in question is an attractive brunette, while Wendy is a bespectacled blonde of about thirteen. House barrels in and tells them that Wendy doesn't have strep throat. He's back to his usual level of asperity, so I guess it's safe to assume that she doesn't have schizophrenia, either. The mother asks House in a roundabout way whether he doesn't think her daughter is a fat-ass. House realizes that the real reason they're there is so he can give Wendy a lecture on the evils of eating before she becomes the poster child for the fast-food chain that bears her name. House sarcastically tells Wendy that she's lucky to have a mom like she does, and calls the mother out on wanting Wendy to slim down so that they can wear matching outfits. He adopts a falsetto and exclaims, "She can't be your daughter! It's impossible! You look way too young!" Hee. He bails, satisfied that he's doing everything he can to make Cuddy regret putting him on clinic duty.

Outside, Friedman confronts House about the Haldol: "I hired you. You work for me." If House is amused at getting a Don Corleone-esque lecture from a kid whom even Fredo could kick the shit out of, he doesn't show it. He starts to go, but Friedman says that Haldol changes his mom. "She says it makes her soul numb." House considers that.

Friedman is reading aloud to his resting mom, his back to her. She coughs a bit, and he asks if she's okay. At her request, he resumes reading, but the next cough brings a splatter of something red onto the pages. She starts barfing up oceans of the stuff as Friedman runs to get help. Either she had a lot of blood in her stomach, or she recently drank the entire Kool-Aid man. I kind of hope it's the latter -- that guy was obnoxious, breaking all those walls.

Later, we get a shot of Friedman's mom resting peacefully. In his office, House rips a strip off Foreman for using a psych med. Foreman doesn't take that lying down, and since this is getting intense and interesting, what better time to pan over to Cameron, who you'll be shocked to learn is sitting within puppy-dog-eyeshot of House? The scene is made better by the appearance of Chase, who produces the clotting test results. Chase and Cameron watch House conclude, "Your best judgment isn't good enough. Here's an idea: Next time, use mine!" Foreman, amazingly, restrains himself from finding a new use for House's cane. House comes through the glass door and asks why the patient bled out. Cameron says that the clotting studies were normal, and House tells the Martins that everything was normal except "prolonged PT time." Foreman admits that that usually means that whoever drew the blood didn't do it right. House, however, says that between the fact that Foreman is a good doctor and the fact that the patient was doped up on Haldol when he took her blood, he doesn't think Foreman screwed up. I think this episode wasn't shown in the order in which it was filmed, because that certainly seems a lot more likely to me than House not taking the opportunity to gloat after Foreman accused him of screwing up Elizabeth Mitchell's epinephrine dosage in the last episode. Then again, I haven't seen House pop a Vicodin yet in this episode. Maybe he's off his game. House calls a Vitamin K deficiency, Cameron guesses there's an antibiotic Friedman's mom was on interacting with a drug, and Chase thinks it's merely alcohol abuse. Foreman doesn't get a diagnosis, because all the cool ones were taken. It's like he's refusing to play Monopoly because the car and the dog were taken, and no way is he going to be the damned iron. House was kind of snotty to Chase in that scene, too, which isn't going to win him any fans. Not ones that are sitting on a couch in Napa right now, anyway.

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