House
The Socratic Method

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Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Pennies From Hell

Foreman and Chase go to Friedman's apartment. Chase tries to be all smooth by taking out a credit card and trying to work the lock. He doesn't seem too adept at it, but I guess the good news is that if he damages the card, he's got plenty more where that came from. Foreman, however, produces a key that he lifted from Friedman's backpack. Heh. From the music that's playing, you think they're going to find something grisly, like this is House: Special Victims Unit. Which would have been an apt title for this show, if those pesky copyright issues hadn't gotten in the way. Chase goes through the clothing drawers, which are meticulously labeled. He then picks up a photo of, presumably, baby Friedman and his mom. Chase looks at it long enough for us to know that it brings up issues for him, in case an Aussie decrying the evils of alcohol at every turn wasn't enough to clue us in. Foreman finds the ampicillin that Friedman had gotten for his mom, but it's full, which shoots down Cameron's theory. Chase hyper-Aussies: "God, I hope it's not a Vitamin K deficiency." Hee. They go to the refrigerator, which is basically empty, but when they open the freezer they find enough precooked hamburgers to keep Wendy rolling in baby fat for years. Foreman: "House was right." Foreman, don't you ever get tired of being wrong?

We cut from the freezer to a microwave, out of which House takes one of the burgers in question. Friedman tells him that burgers are the only thing his mother will eat, but House tells him you can't actually live on the stuff. Someone's seen Super Size Me. Friedman says that the nutritional values are solid, and House agrees, except for the Vitamin K, so they're going to pump her full of the stuff and see if she gets better. He loads ketchup onto his burger, which is the first food-related thing I've seen him do right in this episode. Friedman starts to cry. House: "God, you're upset about something. You're gonna open up to me now, aren't you?" Well, he did give you that burger. It's a cheap date, but it does buy him one sob story. Friedman says that his mother's health problems are all his fault, but House tells him that he's done a great job taking care of her, and that any self-pity he's feeling is indulgent teenage bullshit. He notes that there are no pickles on the burger, and Friedman tells him that his mom doesn't like them either. He adds that his mom was very bossy before she got sick, and that Friedman didn't like it: "Never thought I'd miss that." He starts to go, but grabs his wrist in pain. House tells him he should get that looked at, while wondering how he went from total misanthropy to the desire for a stepson with terrible hair in half an episode.

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House

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