Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 1 USERS: B
Identity Crisis

It's not that new, since when House hands the files out to his Cottages, he makes sure to remark that a "part girl, part boy" is Hadley's "dream date." Yeah, except for the fact that he's twelve! Although Hadley with Jackson would still have more chemistry and be more exciting to watch than Hadley with Foreman, so why not? Foreman offers a diagnosis of dehydration, but Kumar has read slightly further in the file than him and notes that the ER already tried giving him fluids, and it didn't help. Taub doesn't understand why they aren't foolishly limiting themselves to diagnoses related to Jackson's genetic condition. Then he offers up a bunch of intersex-related diagnoses that don't work with the particular condition Jackson has. Shut up, Taub. Kumar wonders if the testosterone shots Mom and Dad are making Jackson take have anything to do with the symptoms, to which Hadley corrects him that they're supposed to call the testosterone "vitamins," according to a note in the file. Yeah, that's worked so well for our top baseball stars. And guess what? Hadley is morally outraged that Jackson's parents are lying to him and expect his doctors to do the same. House says that's not his problem -- the Cottages will do all the lying for him. Taub thinks it makes sense that the parents would want to wait until they thought Jackson was old enough to deal with what will have to be upsetting news to tell him. Uh oh -- Hadley has a Personal Connection to this kind of thing, as her father also waited until she was older to tell her that she could have Huntington's. Well, she handled it so well as an adult, I'm sure she would've been just fine hearing about her possible death sentence as a child. House tells her to stop relating everything to her own problems, and Hadley offers up a diagnosis of a blind uterus and says they should give Jackson an MRI. This is Foreman's cue to shoot down her diagnosis in the most sarcastic way possible so as to convince House of their continued non-dating. He says he's sure Jackson has been checked for a blind uterus before and he thinks the pelvic pain is due to complications from the surgery on Jackson's genitals twelve years ago. House agrees that an MRI would be a waste of time and tells the team to stick a camera up Jackson's penis instead.

They're on their way out the door when Jackson's parents enter, having somehow found House's office despite his daily routine of turning the arrow signs the lead to it to point to the wrong direction. House takes their presence remarkably well with only a mildly snide remark. Mom starts in with asking about giving their son an MRI for the blind uterus they suspect he has. "Did you send them a text?" House asks Hadley. Hee. Dad says that they've done a lot of research into their son's condition, and says it's a blind uterus. House shrugs and says they'll do a contrast MRI right away, much to Kumar's surprise. While the others file out, he reminds House that he just said an MRI was a waste of time. "So is arguing with them," House says. Yeah, but it's a lot more fun.

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