Meanwhile, Foreman drills into Sgt. John's brain, only to find that the tumors are gone. Ooooh, they're magic tumors!
Outside the OR, House, Cuddy, Wilson, and Foreman try to figure out what happened. House's guess is that Wilson screwed up. This is a good guess based on a great deal of past precedent. Wilson insists that he saw the tumors, but House says that Wilson might have seen something he mistook for tumors. Those spots could have been abscesses caused by a brain infection that were then healed by the antibiotics they were giving Sgt. John for his slimy tongue. That would be the first time antibiotics have actually worked on this show. Good for them! But House can't explain why the infection didn't show up in Sgt. John's blood work. Wilson and Foreman are called back into the OR, where Sgt. John is freaking out because he can't move his legs. House yells at him to calm down, and asks if he ever appeared in a porno. Ba-dum-ching! Lame.
After the break, House has finally dragged out the Whiteboard O'Symptoms. Cameron says that Sgt. John has an infection, but House says that, if that were true, he'd be getting better everywhere, not have some parts getting better and some getting worse. Wilson says that it could be an infection and cancer, and House makes fun of him and says they have no proof that it's cancer between the lymph nodes that aren't swollen and the brain tumors that disappeared. Wilson fires back that at least he's not trying to figure out what's wrong with Sgt. John according to his favorite restaurants. Chase enters the room and announces that Sgt. John has uranium in his urine after all. He's super-proud of himself for thinking of the uranium stuff, but House pisses on this (only figuratively, ha ha ha!) and says they no longer think it's cancer, and therefore the uranium is no longer significant. There isn't enough uranium in Sgt. John's urine to have caused any of his symptoms. With that, House asks Wilson for his keys, saying he can't ride a motorcycle with a distended bladder. Wilson forks them over like a fool. I wouldn't let some guy who hadn't peed in three days anyway near my car. House tells them to keep giving Sgt. John the antibiotics and checking him to see if his paralysis has spread overnight. He's going to bed.