House
Top Secret

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Pissed Off

Looking really suave as he leans again a wall, House calls out to Cuddy: "I've been thinking about you." How can she resist him? "You lied," he tells her. Cuddy says that she only lied by omission when she didn't reveal that she and Sgt. John sucked face briefly during a hospital fundraising party two years ago. I'll bet she wouldn't kiss Sgt. John now, though. Cuddy's all embarrassed -- which she shouldn't be, since Sgt. John is hot, if boring -- until she realizes that she actually has one up on House this time: he remembered the face of some guy she made out with years ago because he must have been jealous. "Don't make this about me, this is about your humiliation!" says House, trying to change the subject to the Cuddy Healthcare plan, where servicing Cuddy gets you special PPTH perks. "Get over me," says Cuddy. House thinks she is the one who needs to get over him, noting that she hired him because of "one night." Well, that sounds like confirmation of a past one-night stand to me! All right! That one half-sentence was a lot more exciting and revealing than any of the scenes of Chase and Cameron doing it. Cuddy tells House that he can stop staring at her ass, interrupting her dates, and fantasizing about her in the shower. "That ship sailed long ago, House, get over it," Cuddy finishes, with a smile that suggests otherwise. She looks all triumphant, but she's really not, since House wants her and she's saying no. That makes her a LOSER. As Cuddy walks away, House says that her ass is more of a "supertanker" than a ship. Well, he'd know.

"Superfly" plays. House erases his whiteboard while Cameron and Chase make out in a closet. Then a light turns on and the music suddenly stops. There is no record-scratching sound effect, however. House has a pile of papers from his newly-closed case, and was looking for a big trash can to put them in. He found two of his employees making out instead, although he has no comment about that. This week, anyway. Shirtless Chase won't even look House in the eyes, which is great. Cameron looks like a deer caught in headlights, but maybe also a deer caught in headlights who wouldn't mind being hit by the car. House simply throws the papers out and leaves. "Since when does he clean anything up?" Chase mutters. Since when do we not lock the door when we have sex in public places? I hope the janitorial staff is having sex all over Chase and Cameron's desks right now, by the way. The sleep lab staff, too. And probably the guy who runs the toll booth to get out of the hospital parking garage.

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House

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