House
Top Secret

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Pissed Off

Wilson does some test where he injects dye into Sgt. John's (remember him?) salivary glands to see how they roll. So far so good, although Sgt. John can't hear the music they're playing in the room as a courtesy. He asks them to turn it up, and then can't hear Wilson when he asks him if that's loud enough.

Wilson heads for House's office. He asks House how the peeing thing is going. House reports that while he found "relief," he still hasn't peed. Wilson says the next step, if the pills don't work, is a catheter. Which, I hear, isn't fun for anybody. Wilson says that Sgt. John just went deaf and actually has brain cancer, showing House a film showing several spots in Sgt. John's brain. Wilson says that there are at least six tumors there, even though there are clearly more than that on the film. Wilson sucks at oncology so bad.

When we return, House, Wilson, and Foreman are trying to figure out how Sgt. John had all these brain tumors and no one noticed. Wilson chalks it up to the VA's incompetence, figuring that they must have switched Sgt. John's films with a different patient's. Which means that, right now, some guy is needlessly being treated for hardcore brain cancer. Not like House or Wilson is in any hurry to make phone calls to the VA and give them a heads up. It also means that Sgt. John has less than week to live. At this, Chase and Cameron walk in, disheveled and sweaty and claiming they were at lunch. Also, they did some more checking up on Sgt. John, and aside from a family history of shin splints and nosebleeds and some overdue DVDs on his credit card, he's fine. "You have them researching your dream?!" Wilson shrieks. House says that they are researching his patient. "You had a dream about a patient?" Cameron says, so jealous. Wilson gathers the Cottages and takes them away from House to do some actual medicine. A mutiny! And House is powerless to stop it, because of his bladder and all. Wilson suggests to House that he go to sleep and maybe dream up a cure for Sgt. John. As long as he doesn't sleep in the room in the sleep lab with the sticky sheets, that's not a bad plan.

House watches from the operating-room balcony seats as Sgt. John's head is prepared for surgery. Cuddy enters and asks how Sgt. John is doing. "He's dead," House replies. Cuddy's jaw drops, and she's really sad. "At least, he will be in a few days," House adds. Cuddy feels like a fool now, but that's what you get for not waiting for House to finish his sentences. He says he still doesn't know how those tumors went unnoticed for so long. Cuddy says that the VA hospital checked, and that they did not mix up Sgt. John's films with another patient's. House doesn't trust the government, but Cuddy asks why the VA would lie. Uh, duh, Cuddy. What are you, naïve like Cameron? Come on! House downs some pills, and Cuddy's all, "Did you just take two Vicodin?!" I guess Cuddy forgot everything about this show during one of the many three-week-long waits between new episodes. She shows House one of Sgt. John's films from the VA hospital, pointing out that it's both tumorless and has the titanium pin Sgt. John had put in his skull, for whatever reason, twenty years ago. Which means that those were his brain films, and that the tumors did magically grow in like a day after all.

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