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One of These Days, House. Bang!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

As we open, House is in bed in prison. He spent most of last week in bed, too. I can only assume that it's really comfortable. He is awoken by a prison guard announcing that there's a VIP guest from his old hospital. House doesn't care. But it's the Dean of Medicine! House doesn't want to see her. The guard, who is showing an impressive amount of patience, says, "He said you'd say that." "He?"

He, indeed! For unless Cuddy has turned into a bald, black man, Foreman is now the Dean of Medicine. He doesn't look delighted to be there, but he has an offer: he can get House out of the clink if he'll come back to PPTH. House declines the offer. But Foreman knows House, so he brings out the big guns: The "patient" is two lungs in a box. "No pulse, no body. No ability to answer questions. It's your perfect patient." I never knew House hated pulses so much.

As House gets his stuff back, it's time for Exposition Download! The lungs came from a kid who had a motorcycle accident. They have increased airway resistance and only twelve hours left before the recipient will die. Foreman talks really fast, by the way, and this is just a weecap, so I might have missed some details. But that's the important part: Lungs, deadline, get to work.

So House is back at PPTH. As he enters the lobby, he complains about a painting. Foreman, not particularly interested in breaking down the decor, says that the lungs are in the ICU. House tries to make him take the file, but Foreman declines on the grounds that he's not actually House's flunky anymore. House is theatrically disbelieving that Foreman won't grovel.

In the elevator, Foreman warns House that any illegal behavior or Vicodin-stealing will result in him being sent back to jail. House does not appear to entirely respect his new boss, judging by the "Yes, massa!" response. I think this scene is just here to foreshadow House's burst of off-target racism later on. House asks when Cuddy left, but he cuts Foreman off before he can say where she works now. The important part is that she gave her notice the day after House's "incident." She should probably have gotten a restraining order at the same time.

To House's disbelief, his old office is now occupied by someone cutting off a cast. And his stuff is all gone. Foreman mocks him for combining "I don't want my old environment" with "Where's my old environment?" Anyway, Chase, Thirteen and Taub have all split. What? Well, now I feel like a fool for all that cramming I did as soon as I learned I was the new House recapper. Let's move on. Foreman introduces House to his new office, which is an old broom closet. And his new team, which is Charlyne Yi! She's awesome! She's also very funny, so now there are going to be a bunch of scenes where she and Hugh Laurie act all serious when they could just be hilarious comedians. I've got some ideas for shaking this show out of its doldrums!

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