Back in the classroom, House admits that he didn't shoot anyone; he just wanted to make his Career Day story more exciting. He says the part where they broke into a patient's home was actually true, and that they have to do this so that the patient doesn't try to hide anything from them and keep them from figuring out what's killing him. A little girl, Tiffany, asks why a patient would try to hide something from his doctors, especially if it could kill him. House explains that people are morons. The children are aghast to hear an adult talk this way. House continues that everybody lies, and some smart-mouth kid named Gabe says if everyone lies, then House must be lying right now. House says he didn't say everyone lies all the time and he'd like to sit down and be done with this now. The teacher, who is an idiot and can't quit when she's ahead, asks if "Dr. Hourani" could tell the kids what he actually does for a living first. Perhaps he could walk them through a "routine physical?" Well, this isn't going to go well at all.
Sure enough, House is examining a woman's nether regions, which she complains feel numb. House figures that after 12 years of marriage and 6 children, she's has to use a very powerful vibrator to get off. Aaaand then we're back in the classroom, as the teacher cuts House off like three minutes too late. House figures he's done for the day at this point, but this teacher is an idiot, so she once again asks House to walk the kids through a typical day at his job and some of the other patients he sees with more family-friendly ailments. House says he usually only sees one patient a day. The teacher finally gets the hint and says they'll hear from someone else, then. But now the kids want to know what House does the rest of the day when he isn't seeing his one patient, and he apparently can't resist telling them.