House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Ugly Girls Need Not Apply

The camera crew would rather hang with Cameron in the ER than watch the Numbers test Kenny's retina for mitochondrial whatever. Cameron, incidentally, is treating a patient who does not want to be on camera and has to take his pants off for a rectal exam in the middle of the hallway. I don't even know where to start with that. The producer asks Cameron if House treated her as badly as he treats his current fellows. Cameron goes flying off into Camland, where the sun always shines and the kittens always wear vests, and dreamily mutters that she "loved" House. She quickly comes back to Earth and tries to explain that she loved working with House, but the damage has already been done and trying to explain it away just makes Cameron look worse. As for whether or not Cameron is still in love with House, I don't care and don't understand why it has to come now when no one has even tried to explain why Cameron's hair is blonde now.

And now they're going to make poor Kenny do a test that his giant head prevents him from being able to do. CTB is helpless, but PS figures out a way to look into Kenny's eyes without him having to stick his oversized head in a contraption. And, as PS expected, he finds no degeneration indicating a mitochondrial disorder, but he does find swelling that indicates ICP. I always thought sucking was indicative of ICP. Sucking, and large amounts of stupid clown makeup to give yourself a gimmick that will overshadow how much you suck at music. See also: KISS.

House and PS walk down the hallway to give the illusion that the story is moving forward. PS tells House that he's confirmed ICP and wants to do surgery to alleviate it. House thinks the swelling means Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. He tells PS to put Kenny on steroids. PS argues that steroids will compromise Kenny's immune system, delaying his facial surgery. House doesn't care about that, of course.

PS tells Kenny's dad about JRA and the steroids. But he can't bring himself to lie, and admits that he doesn't agree with House's diagnosis and wants to throw him off the case so Kenny can get his necessary facial surgery. And if this show were called "PS," I'd have every reason to believe this would work. Since it isn't...well, it was nice knowing you, PS.

After the commercial, House and PS are in Cuddy's office. House is furious, as Kenny's dad won't agree to the steroids until House is sure about the diagnosis. WHAT?! Someone who doesn't want to be treated for something they aren't sure he has?!?!?! I don't understand! Since House can't do what he does best and treat his patient, he has to resort to the other thing he does best and make PS miserable. He digs at PS, asking why a successful plastic surgeon would want to be a lowly fellow. PS just keeps telling Cuddy that Kenny needs surgery to drain his cyst. "You're fired," House says. They look to Cuddy. "What you did was over the line. Get out," Cuddy tells PS. But he's not fired yet -- she just wants to talk to House alone. She says he can't fire PS in the middle of the case, especially when he's the only guy Kenny's dad trusts and there are cameras everywhere. House says he'll just treat Kenny behind PS's back. Cuddy suggests doing a CT scan to rule out PS's theory instead, which is what House should have done in the first damn place.

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House

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