It's about time an opening on this show took us somewhere classy, wouldn't you say? This week, we go to the ballet, which has been made to look as music-video-exciting as possible. It's all too much for a male dancer, who complains to the conductor of the orchestra that he's "too fast." The conductor says his musicians are playing at the same speed as usual, and the rehearsal continues. The directors/producers/whoevers watching from the audience exposit that while the male dancer, Jeremy, is a whiny little bitch with a bad back no one cares about, his female partner, Penelope, is a superstar of the dancing world. With that, she leaps into Jeremy's arms and he holds her high above his head until his back gives out and they both fall to the floor. While he clutches his back in pain, she's gasping for air, and the Magic Schoolbus Cam zooms in to show us her collapsing lungs.
House is watching nature shows on TV in his PJs and a bathrobe and eating cereal while, in the corner, CTB went to the hallucination music store and bought herself a hallucination ukulele that she plays for attention. She will not be ignored, and House says he's not going to listen to her because she tried to kill Chase, even if that apparently is what he wants subconsciously. As he gets up to answer a knock at the door, CTB warns him that he isn't being rational. At least, "not completely."
House answers the door to find Foreman, who would have called ahead except that House left his phone off. He says they've got a new case and the patient is high profile -- the star of the New York Ballet. House doesn't care and insists that he's taking a personal day, even when Foreman says Cuddy threatened to fire House if he refused to come in. Oddly enough, CTB seems to take Cuddy's threats seriously, which is ridiculous since we all know, both consciously and subconsciously, that Cuddy would never ever fire House. When CTB points out that she's not going to disappear anytime soon to allow him to go back to work, he decides he might as well put in an appearance. I guess even hallucinations can get boring if you hang out with them in your miserable apartment for too long.
In the meeting room, the Cottages exposit that Penelope continues to suffer collapsed lungs no matter what they do, and they can't find any evidence as to why. CTB lets us know that House isn't paying attention to any of this before suggesting dehydration. House ignores her and suggests a pulmonary contusion. Hadley says there's no evidence of that on any of the scans, and CTB persists that the dehydration is masking an existing infection. House has no choice but to put that suggestion forward, and sends the Cottages off to give Penelope fluids and antibiotics. "We're like Magic [Johnson] and Kareem [Abdul-Jabbar]!" CTB says, holding a hand up for a high-five. House leaves her hanging while probably hoping that he gets to be the Kareem, since Magic kind of has HIV and stuff. Then again, he also owns half the businesses in Inglewood, so it's not so bad.