House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 3 USERS: A+
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Personal Jesus

Kumar and Taub get their own scene, but not really since they're just talking about Foreman and Hadley. What if they just stuck a little picture of Hadley in the corner of the TV screen at all times? Then she could be in every single scene but we wouldn't have to hear about her. I'll just put the closed captioning on so it'll cover her face up and I won't have to see her, either. Kumar mentions Hadley's bisexuality out of nowhere, saying Hadley should invite "friends" over for her and Foreman to play with. "She's not a nympho, she's bisexual," Taub says. She was both just a few episodes ago, a time when we only had to deal with her and not her and Foreman. How I miss those days in retrospect. Taub think he's found the source of the carbon monoxide poisoning Danny doesn't have in an ashtray full of cigarettes. Someone's been reading the surgeon general's warnings too carefully.

Cuddy enters the elevator. The doors start to close, but House still manages to slip in at the last second. I think the elevator doors are actually a bigger part of this show than House's cane at this point. House informs Cuddy that he's figured out her clever ruse -- she only invited him to the ceremony because she knew he'd turn her down because she doesn't actually want him there. Although I can't imagine why not, what with him now carrying on about how she's a hypocrite to celebrate her Jewosity with one ceremony but not follow every single Jewish ritual ever created. He says it's either all or nothing or you're a hypocrite. I used that argument on a guy who said he would never marry a Jewish girl because his Catholic religion was too important to him but also had no problem having premarital sex and paying for a girlfriend's abortion. He found a way to justify everything. On the other hand, he is now married to a Jewish girl. Cuddy's not the only person to pick and choose her religious beliefs, is all I'm saying. She takes a deep breath and says that House is a part of her life, and she really truly honestly wants him to come to the ceremony. House accepts. "I'm glad," Cuddy says.

She then runs right to Wilson's office to yell at him for convincing House to attend the ceremony and order him to fix it without letting on to House that she doesn't want him there. He couldn't even convince House not to go in the first place -- how's he going to do this?

Then it's back for more Foreman/Hadley drama. Kumar finds Hadley in the hyperbaric chamber booth. I love that PPTH has a state-of-the-art dedicated hyperbaric chamber theater. Even Mitch didn't have it this good when he got the bends on that one episode of Baywatch. Hadley gives Kumar attitude when he acts concerned about Foreman's career, then apologizes. Maybe she's getting another headache-turned-brain-tumor. It has been twenty minutes since her last one. Taub, for the record, says that House was right to fire Foreman and they blew their chance to keep their jobs. Hadley says it was an ultimatum, and after five years of working for House, Foreman should be allowed to make "a mistake or two." In my last Survivor recap, I called a contestant by the wrong name. That's a mistake. Deliberately and with a great deal of forethought screwing around with a drug trial and depriving a patient of medicine in order to give it to your girlfriend, who then gets a brain tumor from it? That's a little bit more significant. Anyway, Danny's had enough of Foreman getting all the attention so he suddenly has a medical crisis. He bangs on the walls of the chamber and clutches his chest, saying he can't breath. Kumar decides he's having a heart attack.

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House

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