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Personal Jesus

Cuddy's lounging around in her office when Foreman walks in. She thinks he's there to ask her to force House to give him his job back, but he just wants a letter of recommendation. "Eric ..." Cuddy starts. Ooooh, bad news, Foreman! Your first name just got used. Sure enough, Cuddy says she's not writing a recommendation for someone who "falsified medical records" and "put this hospital's reputation in jeopardy." LOL PPTH's reputation. "You're lucky you still have a license," she concludes. Foreman wasn't expecting this incredibly predictable turn of events.

It turns out that Danny didn't have a heart attack after all, just chest pain. Ha! I'll bet Kumar only thought it was a heart attack because he wanted to see what would happen if he used the defibrillator paddles in a hyperbaric chamber. House decides the priest is suffering from a clotting disorder and sends Kumar and Taub off to do an angiogram. As for Hadley, she's sulky so House says she can leave since she doesn't feel like working today. As for House, amazingly enough, he actually wants to meet his patient.

His first question: "are you really a virgin?" Danny says they aren't compelled to believe him, just to treat him. House tries to pull the "it's medically relevant" card, but Danny still doesn't care. House thinks a teenager getting "confused" is an awfully minor reason to lose one's faith, but Danny says it was followed by his church abandoning him (they didn't fire him, though) and his god forsaking him. "I couldn't come up with a reason why God would do that," he says. Guess he never read a little something I like to call "the part of the Bible where God fucks up Job's life forever just to prove a point." Kumar tries to help Danny out, saying that God gave the kid free will, and he used that free will to falsely accuse Danny, so Danny is just a victim of God's gift to mankind. Danny's already considered that, and says that free will causes suffering, so God causes suffering. He didn't have a problem with that when he wasn't the one suffering, though, did he? House loves Danny's attitude and says so, adding that if only Danny wasn't a pedophile, they could hang out sometime. With that, Kumar does something to Danny's chest that's supposed to hurt, but Danny feels no pain. That's not good. House pokes around and finds that Danny has "regional anesthesia," which means the problem isn't a clotting disorder -- it's neurological. Too bad House fired the neurologist! Although it wasn't like Foreman did much with that specialty anyway. He orders the two working Cottages to run a nerve conduction study.

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