House isn't answering his phone because he's trying to see if he can find a coin in Rachel's gut using a crappy little fridge magnet. My fridge magnet can't even hold up more than three sheets of paper (or one 20% coupon from Bed, Bath, and Beyond -- those things come on thick card stock!), so I don't think he's going to have much luck getting it to stick to a coin through several layers of flesh and internal organs.
Wilson returns from cleaning up the living room to try to figure out, based on the food receipt and the change he got back, if any coins are missing. Ultimately, they're short one dime. House asks if this is really that big of a deal; after all, kids swallow stuff like this all the time. They just poop it out and everything is fine. Yeah, pretty much. My brother swallowed a penny once. It wasn't a big deal. No one died. And my street had a lot of kids on it, and most of them swallowed coins at one time or another, too. And they also survived. Wilson says that most likely, it won't be a problem. But there is a slight chance that the dime will get stuck in her intestines and kill her. And then Cuddy would probably dump House. Or not; she might be relieved to have the kid off her hands. Anyway, Cuddy finally comes home, so Wilson has to make a quick escape out Rachel's bedroom window, which is disturbingly easy to climb in and out of. Wilson urges House to just tell Cuddy the truth, but House says then he'll get in trouble, like Cuddy's never had to deal with her kid swallowing something she shouldn't before. Actually, she probably hasn't. But I'm sure the Nanny will explain to her that it's okay. Wilson says House will have to check Rachel for the next 24 hours and make sure the dime "passes," then gets out of there.
House leaves Rachel's room just as Cuddy is approaching. She asks about Rachel, and that's House's chance to tell her the truth. Which, of course, he doesn't. "She's fine," he says with a reassuring smile. She doesn't even bother to check on the kid, just takes House's word for it. He offers to spend the night, and Cuddy accepts. I guess she is willing to trade sex for baby-sitting services after all.
Unlike Cuddy, Abbey cares about her daughter, so she's sitting next to her when Taub enters with another blood transfusion for the baby. He asks where her other daughter Justine went, and Abbey says she went downstairs for "a few minutes" but has been gone for hours now. Abbey is not concerned that something may have happened to Justine though, as this is apparently usual behavior from her. "So you two are close?" Taub asks. Uh ... no. What made him think they were? The fact that Justine hasn't been around, like, at all? "It's been getting better," Abbey says, noting that the fact that Justine is in the building at all is "pretty supportive for her." Taub notes that the baby looks and sounds much healthier. So much so that he lets Abbey hold her for the first time. As Abbey coos over holding her very sick baby for the first time, Justine enters. "My first time! Finally," Abbey says. "Technically, it's your second time," Justine says. Is she talking about herself there? Because I don't think Abbey meant this was her first time ever holding a baby. She meant this particular baby. Like, obviously. I hate this family.
Taub's busy day continues. He finds Dr. Cheng using the MRI (OF DOOOM!!) on a small innocent child and informs her that Abbey's baby seems to be doing much better, so they've decided that she's cured. With that, Dr. Cheng turns the MRI on and instructs the girl inside it not to move. She does. Dr. Cheng is annoyed. The MRI (OF DOOOM!!) no doubt plots its revenge. Taub starts trying to sell diagnostics to Dr. Cheng, who interrupts to ask the girl's mother to restrain her daughter. "Now the mom's not gonna want to do it because she'd rather I just keep blasting her daughter with radiation," Cheng says awesomely. Although this could all be prevented if PPTH just hired some techs to run those MRIs instead of making the doctors do it, like every other hospital. Cheng says she'd be very interested in becoming House's fellow, mostly because it means she won't have to work with horrible children all the time. If you hate children so much, Cheng, then maybe you shouldn't be a pediatrician. Just switch to the ER or surgery or something. It's easy to change specialties at PPTH!
While Cuddy sleeps, House stays awake, waiting to hear something from Rachel. She makes a noise on the baby monitor and he is up and out like a shot. "Relax, I got this!" he tells Cuddy, who still doesn't think there's anything weird going on. House changes Rachel's diaper, much to his chagrin. Once it's off, he inspects the load inside with a flashlight and chopsticks. Rachel stares up at him, all "new stepdad is a weirdo. Stepdad Lucas never did this stuff. Also, who is that woman with the long black hair and big boobs I see occasionally?" Cuddy walks in on House in this position, and he explains his intense interest in her daughter's shit by saying he's "new to all this." Cuddy and her ridiculous pajamas shrug and head back to bed. Rachel grins triumphantly.
The next morning, Cuddy leaves House slumbering in bed, as she has actual work to do but he claims his case is "under control" and thus he's allowed to sleep in. "Your boss must really like you," Cuddy says. Yeah, and be a terrible administrator. Cuddy leaves House and the long-suffering Nanny Marina, but he doesn't get to catch up on any sleep as the Cottages call to inform him that their diagnosis has changed and also, there's a Dr. Cheng involved. House is thrilled to hear of an Asian doctor he can make fun of, but Taub just says she's an NICU attending who's been helping them out and ended up spotting the vascular malformation in the baby's liver. Foreman makes a move to protest giving Cheng credit for his diagnosis, but Taub stops him. House says it isn't a vascular malformation anyway; the baby's liver test results showed way too much damage for that. "Dr. Cheng is an idiot," House concludes. This won't work with Taub's plan to trick House into hiring her, so he quickly tells House that the vascular malformation was really Foreman's idea. Again, Foreman is like, "WTF Taub?" but he only speaks up to tell House that the baby has gotten better since they started treating her for a vascular malformation. House says that's only temporary, and the baby will be crashing again soon.
But the baby is still doing well enough for Abbey to hold and sing to her. Justine enters with her arms crossed. "I know that look," Abbey says. What look? The blank stare of terrible acting? Because that's all I'm seeing. Justine says she isn't used to seeing "such emotion" from her mother. Yeah, it's really weird that a mother would be emotional after giving birth to a baby who almost died. "You're different with her," Justine says; "I can't help thinking, where was this mom when I was growing up?" HUH? There are so many things wrong with that: 1. Even if her mother isn't the most emotionally available person in the world and wasn't affectionate or loving with Justine, I'm sure she was just like this when Justine was born because THIS IS PRETTY MUCH STANDARD NEW MOM BEHAVIOR. Especially when she wasn't able to hold her baby for a long time and the baby was so sick; 2. How does Justine know what her mother was like when she was a newborn baby? Or is she comparing how her mother interacted with her when she was a bratty teenager to how her mother interacts with a sick newborn? Because that would be ridiculous; 3. Even if everything Justine is saying is true, how is this the right time or place to bring it up? And 4. Shut up, Justine.
Abbey says she didn't realize she was such a bad mother to Justine. Justine says she never thought she was, but she also didn't realize that there was "an alternative." Yes, based on the behavior your mother has displayed towards the new baby in all of ten seconds you've seen them together, I'd say she's definitely totally different. Abbey doesn't really want to argue with Justine about such nonsense, so she changes th