Wilson's in House's office, telling him to stop wasting his time trying to recover the novel off the typewriter ribbon. "It can't be done," he says. "And people wonder why you've never cured cancer," House snarks. No, I think Wilson would have to spend some time actually working for that to happen. Wilson asks if he got the ribbon before or after his date with Cuddy, and House thoughtfully concedes, "Probably would have been a wiser choice," leaving unspoken the key words, "than during." Wilson skips straight to the bright side, remarking that it's a good sign that Cuddy's willing to commit crimes with House. "She's looking for ways to connect. Sure, they're self-destructive, juvenile, and insane, but..." wait for it... "so are you." Wilson says that House and Cuddy do have something in common: they're both looking for things they have in common. "And not finding them," House says glumly. Sure, be a downer, but I'm cool with anything that shuts Wilson up.
Alice is getting another visit from her book's imaginary protagonist, but the only point to their interaction is to have Taub and Chase arrive with the chelation treatment in time to bust her talking to herself. Not that she's embarrassed about it. "It's only my imagination," she explains. "I make things up for a living." She adds that writers are also good at reading people, which...uh, I'm sure some of them are. She demonstrates by totally pulling a Sherlock Holmes on Chase, observing that he's a recent divorcee who had a booty call last night at a girl's place. Chase considers denying it, but then asks how she did it. She explains about the tan line from his wedding ring and the reek of smoke on him, even though he doesn't have nicotine-stained hands or teeth, which means he spent the night with a smoker and is wearing the same clothes as yesterday. "Do him," Chase says, pointing to Taub. Like Taub needs any encouragement. She says Taub reminds her of her ex-husband. "A cute man, but problems in the bedroom department." Taub smugly says, "Not even close," because he's not cute. But the bedroom problems Alice was referring to were the ones she caught her husband in. Oops, Alice got closer than we thought there. She gets so upset remembering that she pitches another seizure on the spot. Chase thinks it's a reaction to the chelation agent. "I didn't give it to her yet," Taub says. He holds up the syringe to show Chase, because even Alice knows that we can't trust Taub when he says "I didn't give it to her."