House
Unwritten

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Authorial Intent

We catch up with him and Cuddy at the indoor go-cart track, and she is not impressed that this is what he came up with. Even though House called her mom to find out what she liked, which is sort of sweet, especially on the House spectrum. "I loved them when I was 12," she says, rather meanly. Just then, from across the track, Sam excitedly calls to them, "I haven't done this since I was 12! Winner picks the restaurant!" "I have a very bad feeling about this," Wilson whines. But soon the four of them are in the carts, and the bored flagman tells them, "On your marks, get set, go away." I like how this show gives subtle clues to new viewers. For instance, from the fact that House and Cuddy are able to go out on dates every night, I can tell that neither of them has a small child at home.

The race is on, primarily shot from floor level to make it look like they're going faster than five miles an hour. Wilson, in the pole position, keeps getting bumped by Sam, who's into this to a dangerous degree. House is glad to see that Cuddy seems to be coming around to enjoying herself. He doesn't even mind her shit-talking him. Wilson calls over to Sam, "My parents never let me drive one of these!" "Yeah, I can tell," Sam yells back, and keeps bumping him until he spins out and crashes through the barriers. Is that allowed? Where's the yellow flag, dammit? House and Cuddy safely make it past the wreckage as Cuddy asks House, "What is her problem?" House yells back, "She hates Jews!" Heh. "Never again," Cuddy vows, flooring it to catch up with Sam. Who also knocks Cuddy out of the race with a bump that leaves the latter rubbing her neck in pain. House zooms right on past Cuddy in pursuit of Sam, emitting an evil laugh. When he catches up with her, he reaches out with his cane and unhooks the battery cable on her cart, which coasts to a stop so he can cross the finish line alone. Victory! I guess.

Afterward, as the four of them are leaving after being not only kicked out but banned for life, House proudly whispers to Cuddy, "I avenged my lady." She complains, "Seatbelt nearly broke my neck. I'm done for the night." House points out, "It's not my fault Wilson' s attracted to psychos." No, but it explains why Wilson keeps hanging around him. She reminds him that he picked the place, and heads out as Wilson assures House, "That's just the pain talking," because he's more worried about House's feelings than Sam's. Although maybe when they get home he'll be telling Mad Max that it might have been in order for her to dial it back a few spins. But back to Wilson's real date, House, who murmurs, "Oh, wow." But that's just the Epiphany Face talking.

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House

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