Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Authorial Intent

Later, the Cottages wake House up in his office to inform him that not only did they not find Alice's old medical records, she's refusing further treatment anyway. "Why would she lie about the accident?" House wonders. "Everybody lies," Taub says. Looks like it did sink in, after all, even though Taub is wearing a new lab coat. "Everybody who has a reason," House says. Oh, now he wants to qualify it, after six seasons?

House's next stop is Cuddy's office. She's been trying to find a legal way to operate on Alice without her permission, but struck out. "As your boyfriend, I'm grateful for the effort," House says. "As your employee, I'm disappointed at your ineffectiveness." He starts wondering again about Alice's silence regarding the pins in her leg, and when Cuddy reminds him that Alice wants to die, he asks, "By having her leg ripped off?" I was wondering about that too. "She wants to punish herself for something that happened before she was famous. Before she even started to write. I think the answer's in her old medical records, but Dopey, Sleazy, and Uptighty can't find them." "Maybe Alice Tanner's just her pen name," Cuddy muses. That doesn't seem like something a superfan like House would be unlikely to know, but he tells Cuddy, "Your boyfriend is an idiot." Rather than agreeing, Cuddy picks up the phone to check with the national records archive on Alice's leg screws, and House advises, "Her first name could be Helen." I'd say that would be too easy, but nothing is ever too easy when there are only five minutes to go.

When House pays his next visit to Alice, he's holding medical record folders, so it looks like Cuddy was successful. "Don't bother to get up," he says to Alice. Ha ha, it's funny because she's paralyzed. He says that Jack always seemed so real to him: "He's cool, but he's awkward. He's brilliant, he makes mistakes. He's funny, but sometimes he takes it too far." Sounds like someone we know, except the "sometimes" part. She asks him to leave her alone, and he says, "You weren't alone in the car crash. Your son was with you, Helen." He holds up a photo of the same actor who's been playing Imaginary Jack, only the scar on his cheek is a fresh wound, and instead of playing with a yo-yo he's rocking a morgue slab. "Your books are your way of keeping him alive," he diagnoses. Alice admits, "I killed him." Imaginary Jack is in the room now, looking down at her with imaginary sadness as House says she didn't. "I let him drive," she says. "He only had a learner's permit. It was raining. I deserve this." "No, you don't," House insists, either out of kindness or just to be argumentative, and I know which way I'm leaning. Alice goes on, "He could always get me to do what he wanted. He's always been my muse." House says he looked at her muse's autopsy results, and holds up a brain scan to point out the aneurysm that actually killed him -- according to House, he was dead before the crash, and there was nothing Alice could have done. "It's easy to miss," he says. "Your son would have died that day. On a bus, in school, sitting on his bed. The only thing the crash is killing is you." Alice says that when she wrote, she could feel him with her. He puts his imaginary hand on hers. If you're paralyzed and an imaginary hand touches you, can you still feel it? He tells her, "It wasn't my fault, Mom." "And it wasn't mine," she responds. But they say it nicely instead of defensively like how it looks on my screen.

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