Chase draws Jack's blood and asks him whether anyone at work has been sick. Meanwhile, Jack's brother, Will, and sister, Kama (kama kama kama kama chameleon), try to get out of doing their homework. "My brother's in the hospital. Mrs. Collier won't care if I finish my homework," Will says. Oh yes she will! Mrs. Collier is a hard-ass. House makes a surprise visit, taking a seat on the arm of the chair Will is sitting in. "Can I be your imaginary friend?" House asks Will. This would be a good time for Jack to tell Will that if a stranger ever says this to you, the answer is always "I'm calling the police." Chase introduces the family to House, who asks Jack about his itchy feet and what kinds of drugs he does. Chase ignores these clues and quietly tells Jack that he doesn't have to answer House in front of his brother and sister. Jack says that he doesn't hide anything from them, and that they know that he used to do drugs before their parents died. Now that he's a responsible guardian, he's clean: "If I'm open with them, then they'll be open with me." House scoffs at this plan, but Will says that he and Kama don't lie to Jack. House acts like a ten-year-old and starts teasing Will and Kama that they do too, even accusing eleven-year-old Kama of being sexually active. "I am not!" she says, hilariously indignant.
Next, Foreman gives Jack an MRI of DOOOM! House sits in the booth with Foreman and gets on the PA system to ask Jack about his drug habits. Jack once again denies smoking weed or even cigarettes, having recently quit his two-pack-a-day habit. Foreman chooses to ignore these clues, and tells House to lay off Jack, so House says that he'll just talk turkey with Foreman instead. He starts off by disapproving of Foreman's relationship with Nurse Wendy, saying that the kind of girl Foreman really needs is Foreman in a skirt. After a few seconds of this, Foreman turns House back on Jack. Jack says that he didn't really quit cigarettes; he just "lost the taste for" them. House thinks that this is could be some kind of symptom, but Foreman is sure that the problem is not in Jack's lungs. Judging by the MRI results, it's not in his brain, either.
Cameron's Special Secret Test is to inject Jack with a chemical called ergonovine that will tell her if his heart attack was caused by spasms in the vessels around his heart. House pokes his head in the room, startling Cameron. Jack wants to know why one doctor is testing his heart and another one is testing his brain. I'm sure his insurance company will want to know that as well. And I don't think they'll accept "pitting doctors against each other in a pointless race for a diagnosis." Cameron weakly explains that they're just trying to eliminate several possibilities. House has great good fun playing the Cameron to Cameron's House, asking Jack whether he consented to this medical procedure, in which another heart attack could be induced. But the ergonovine doesn't do anything, so Cameron has to "push" Jack a little. She does this with House's trademark brand of mental torture, getting in Jack's face and reminding him of all the responsibilities he has that being sick is making him neglect. He'll lose his job. Will and Kama will be taken away. Jack starts to stress out, but the heart attack does not ensue. "Can't you see his heart is fine? Stop torturing him! What kind of doctor are you?" House Camerons. Ha! Now you know how House feels when you have your little ethical dilemma every other episode, Cameron! Although I'm not sure how good it is for a patient to hear one doctor accusing another of torturing him. That wouldn't give you much faith in the people in charge of saving your life.













Comments