Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!

Next, Foreman gives Jack an MRI of DOOOM! House sits in the booth with Foreman and gets on the PA system to ask Jack about his drug habits. Jack once again denies smoking weed or even cigarettes, having recently quit his two-pack-a-day habit. Foreman chooses to ignore these clues, and tells House to lay off Jack, so House says that he'll just talk turkey with Foreman instead. He starts off by disapproving of Foreman's relationship with Nurse Wendy, saying that the kind of girl Foreman really needs is Foreman in a skirt. After a few seconds of this, Foreman turns House back on Jack. Jack says that he didn't really quit cigarettes; he just "lost the taste for" them. House thinks that this is could be some kind of symptom, but Foreman is sure that the problem is not in Jack's lungs. Judging by the MRI results, it's not in his brain, either.

Cameron's Special Secret Test is to inject Jack with a chemical called ergonovine that will tell her if his heart attack was caused by spasms in the vessels around his heart. House pokes his head in the room, startling Cameron. Jack wants to know why one doctor is testing his heart and another one is testing his brain. I'm sure his insurance company will want to know that as well. And I don't think they'll accept "pitting doctors against each other in a pointless race for a diagnosis." Cameron weakly explains that they're just trying to eliminate several possibilities. House has great good fun playing the Cameron to Cameron's House, asking Jack whether he consented to this medical procedure, in which another heart attack could be induced. But the ergonovine doesn't do anything, so Cameron has to "push" Jack a little. She does this with House's trademark brand of mental torture, getting in Jack's face and reminding him of all the responsibilities he has that being sick is making him neglect. He'll lose his job. Will and Kama will be taken away. Jack starts to stress out, but the heart attack does not ensue. "Can't you see his heart is fine? Stop torturing him! What kind of doctor are you?" House Camerons. Ha! Now you know how House feels when you have your little ethical dilemma every other episode, Cameron! Although I'm not sure how good it is for a patient to hear one doctor accusing another of torturing him. That wouldn't give you much faith in the people in charge of saving your life.

Wilson finally shows up for work, and his tardiness does not go unnoticed by Cuddy. "Buses suck," Wilson explains. And cabs are simply too expensive for the head of Oncology, I'm sure. Cuddy's first concern is not Wilson, but House. Specifically, whether Wilson will turn against him and cause House to lose his license and make her hospital look bad. Ha ha ha! No one cares about Wilson! Wilson says that he has no intention of testifying against House, and then notices that the pharmacy won't let his prescriptions go through. Marco the pharmacist apologizes, but explains that Wilson's DEA number has been suspended, whispering as if he were telling Wilson that his credit card was rejected. Oh, that's great. So now Wilson's fucking cancer patients have to suffer because Shitter doesn't like House? I mean, come on! Are we supposed to like Shitter at all here? Raiding House's apartment to get back at him for being a dick at the Clinic is one thing, but now Wilson and all his patients are being punished for something that isn't their fault, unless they were all holding onto that thermometer while it was being shoved up Shitter's ass. Which I doubt.

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