House

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Doctors Without Boundaries

Terzzzi and House hook John up to whatever they're treating him with now. Task complete, House suggests they go back to Terzzzi's pad and practice some torture techniques. Even though Terzzzi said women aren't impressed by talk like this, she's clearly smiling, so, which one is it, Terzzzi? She says that if House cures John she'll "show him [her] private waterboard." House smiles dumbly at this. Terzzzi says they need to consult an oncologist about John's chemo. These people can't do anything themselves. Fortunately, House knows just the oncologist.

He calls Wilson and asks for the chemo protocol on blood cancer. Couldn't they have just looked it up on Wikipedia? Weak excuse to give Wilson something to do this week. If you really want him to be involved, how about not casting twenty people in the show, thereby taking time away from the original cast members? Honestly, I can't imagine Jesse Spencer or Jennifer Morrison staying with the show next season if their parts stay this small and useless. Wilson asks House where he is, to which House truthfully responds he's doing a consult for the CIA. Of course, Wilson doesn't believe him, so House tells him to call "Langley" and dial 3578, as Terzzzi has the numbers to every phone in the building memorized. House hangs up on Wilson and tells Terzzzi he has "a position available on [his] penis." Ha ha ha, you see, he meant "staff." But the joke's on him and the rest of us, as Terzzzi takes this to mean that House is offering her a job. Here's a clue, Terzzzi: if the word "penis" is involved, it's not a job offer. Or at least, not one that you want. But House maintains that at PPTH, the pay is better (it pays more to be a fellow than the CIA's lead doctor??? Okay...) and they've only had one assassination attempt that everyone's forgotten about anyway. I guess we aren't counting murderous elderly volunteers, pill-dropping doctors of mystery, doctors who zap the bone marrow of patients with simple bacterial infections, or doctors who stab other doctors with needles infected with a deadly disease as assassins. Terzzzi tries to prove that she knows something about something by saying that House must be a great person to work for, considering that all three of his fellows walked out at the same time a few months ago. I think House's behavior around you up until now could've given you the same conclusion, Terzzzi, but good for you doing your research. House, on the other hand, looks totally shocked that the CIA would have done a background check on him before bringing him in. I guess he figured they just happened to have that photo of him lying around?

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House

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