House

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Doctors Without Boundaries

House is on his way out when Cuddy starts yelling at him, asking him where's he's been. House tries to distract her by mentioning her crazy employee who poisoned a famous drag racer patient, but Cuddy cuts him off to say that if House doesn't get someone from the CIA to call and confirm House's story, he's going to do eight Clinic hours and Wilson's doing sixteen. Yeah, because House really cares if Wilson gets punished because of his actions. House says he was in the Hamptons, treating a gajillionaire whose son had the sniffles. Cuddy nods. "For your honesty, I will forgive your hours," she says. She waits for House to turn around to leave again before dropping the other shoe: "the only thing less likely than your helping the CIA is your helping some rich guy in Long Island. You're doing your hours AND Wilson's!" "I know how to kill a man with my thumb," House says. "Who doesn't?" Cuddy tosses over her shoulder. And THAT'S how it's done, Michael Michele! Watch and learn! Meanwhile, Cuddy might think she's all that, but she also didn't know that a helicopter landed on her hospital or that one of her employees went insane and almost killed a high-profile patient. Not to mention those hours when they thought they found a cure for polio. Oops!

And just when you think we're done, House steps outside PPTH to find Terzzzi waiting for him. "I'm going to take you up on your offer," she says. And despite his false bravado and sexual boasting, when confronted with the actual possibility of sex, House is at a loss for words. Terzzzi lets him embarrass himself stammering out that his apartment is close by before she adds that she meant the job offer. She quit the CIA and wants to work for a disgusting pig whose job offer didn't really seem all that serious, seeing as the offer actually was for her to sit on his penis. Anyway, it's good news for Michael Michele, I guess. Bad news for me, since I've gotten to know the Numbers and I don't want to see yet another position be lost to them. Why did I even bother caring if none of them are going to stick around?

What ails the staff at PPTH? We've got the diagnoses.

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House

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