House

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Doctors Without Boundaries

House demands to know where John was last, saying if they don't know what kind of environmental factors they're dealing with, there's no point in having him or Curtis there. Dr. Terzzzi's steadfast resolve not to tell them classified information crumbles instantly and she reveals that John was in Bolivia for the last eleven months. House tries to wrap his mind around who's in Bolivia for the CIA to assassinate aside from his former housekeeper, who has it coming because "cleaning the windows means cleaning both sides. Am I right or am I right?!" House demands that last part of Curtis, who looks disgusted. I guess he doesn't like dirty windows either. Anyway, House has the entire case figured out: John has pancreatitis brought on by excessive alcohol consumption. This does not explain John's gross fingernails or skin burns, however. House says they're simple fungal infections and sunburns, although I have seen sunburns before and they never looked like John. I have also seen pancreatitis, and it's fairly easy to diagnose with lab tests. If it's severe enough, you can diagnose it just by looking at the patient's blood serum, which is all milky and pink from the fats he can't dissolve. I guess the CIA medical lab doesn't have those simple tests, though. Or eyes. Curtis, by the way, thinks they're looking at an assassination attempt from a group with the resources to create an untraceable radioactive isotope. You know, if you have the resources to make something like that, why not use them to cure cancer or something instead, spies? Come on now. Terzzzi goes with Curtis' diagnosis because it's a lot cooler.

Curtis starts an IV with crazy radioactive isotope treatment while House stands by, prodding John to admit he's an alcoholic. John says he doesn't drink, but House doubts the honesty of someone who lies to his friends and family to conceal his true identity. Then he asks John why, when Ginger used poison lipstick to kill Gilligan, she wasn't poisoned either. Wow, I don't remember that episode of Gilligan's Island. I always thought Ginger and Gilligan were friends. :-(

Kumar makes a big production out of reading the test results. The LP (they did an LP on Casey as part of their "harmless" tests? Well, I'm sure if was one of those completely painless LPs) was negative for Cole's diagnosis of meningitis. Cole doesn't care. The fat pad biopsy that sounds totally pain-free was negative for amyloidosis, and 13 goes down in flames. 13 overacts her surprise and disappointment to be proven wrong. Cole interrupts to ask if Kumar can hurry up with his annoying presentation because he has to pick up his son. CTB immediately asks if she can have a kid, too, so she can get out of work. Because kids aren't work. PS volunteers his services to help CTB achieve this goal, to which she says she'd go for it if she had two minutes and some anti-nausea meds. She is the worst flirt ever. Foreman grabs the results and reads that they look positive for MS. Kumar points out that they also look positive for lupus, but Foreman doesn't care about that. He's convinced it's MS and orders them to treat Casey for that. Foreman and the Numbers leave the room, leaving CTB and PS behind to plot. They both still think Casey has lupus. CTB says it's time for a trip to the ER.

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House

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