Who's Your Daddy?

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | Grade It Now!
Hurricrap Katrina

House listens to more of Jesse's piano playing. Wilson enters with a carton of chicken mole (hope you didn't get that from the taco stand/car wash, Wilson! Or else we won't be seeing much of you in this or even next episode, unless they take place in a bathroom stall) and pesters House about Crandall, of whom Wilson thinks House is jealous for maturing while House is stuck as a seventeen-year-old. (Wilson generously gave House twice the mental age he should have, in my opinion.) House scoffs that Crandall hasn't changed at all. He tells Wilson about Leona's crap mouth, which Wilson says will not gross him out of eating his lunch since, as an oncologist, half of Wilson's patients "have their skin sloughing off." Meanwhile, he's sleeping with the other half whose skin remains intact. ...Oh, let's be honest, he's probably sleeping with some of the skin-sloughing patients as well. The friction really intensifies the sexual experience. Wilson asks House why he's so worried about Crandall, though I have seen no evidence that House cared enough about to worry about yet. Wincing in pain as he rubs his leg, House tells Wilson a story about the time Crandall fell in a love with a girl House didn't approve of. When Crandall said he wanted to marry the girl, House went to talk to her at Crandall's request. "And you blew it?" Wilson asks. No, House says, it's more like Leona's digestive system. As in, the situation reversed itself. As in, the girlfriend blew House. "I was doing him a favor," House defends himself. Wilson, who couldn't be put off of his food with talk of poop oozing out of someone's mouth, is so disgusted by this that he throws his food down on House's desk and leaves the office, conveniently forgetting that when it comes to morals and fidelity and sex, Wilson is hardly a paragon of virtue himself. Dick. His grandstanding almost made me forget what an asshole House is, both in this scene and through the entire episode. For his part, House just turns the Jesse Baker back on and starts eating Wilson's lunch. He takes a few bites before putting the fork down, turning the music off, and getting his thinking face going.

Chase is in the middle of Leona's liver biopsy when House pages Foreman, ordering him to stop it.

The Cottages report to House's office, where they find their boss listening to Jesse Baker on his record player. He urges them to listen, and Foreman begs him to tell them that he didn't stop a biopsy to make them listen to music. House says that the liver biopsy is actually unnecessary, and would have been fatal. Kind of like that bone marrow replacement, except even more dangerous. Nice going with that, guys. When the song gets to the part where Jesse starts yelling at people, Foreman loses his patience. But House says that Jesse was playing way too well for him to have been on any drugs: "Something [else] was screwing with his personality." Additionally, Jesse was yelling about his piano being out of tune when it actually was not, so House thinks that whatever was making him an asshole was also screwing with his aural perception. And if you add those things to the liver disease that killed Jesse, you get hemochromatosis. Which is genetic. House is apparently much quicker to believe that Leona is biologically related to Jesse than he is to believe she's related to Crandall. Cameron is about to test Leona's blood for iron, but House again says he has a quicker way. Maybe this time he'll break her entire arm.

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