Are we really going to go for the entire rest of this season with opening credits that feature someone who isn't on the show anymore? Apparently so.
Now we're in the PPTH ER, which is of course severely understaffed due to the lack of Cameron, who was apparently the only person who worked there. That means Wilson has to take care of Tucker, coming back with test results that rule out that his arm paralysis is from a stroke. Wilson then takes note of a pretty young blonde woman hovering over Tucker and mistakes her for Tucker's daughter, who he hasn't seen in five years. It's actually Tucker's girlfriend, Ashley. So Tucker and Wilson are such good friends that Wilson hasn't seen Tucker's daughter in five years (and also totally forgot what she looked like, as when we see Tucker's real daughter she looks nothing like Ashley) and didn't know he wasn't married anymore? Okay. Ashley worries that Tucker's cancer is back, but Wilson says the tests show no evidence of this and then has his own epiphany moment. It's not as great as House's usually are, but it is just as rude. He stares at Ashley's mouth for a while before saying "that cold sore -- how long have you had it?" He thinks the virus that caused Ashley's cold sore (that would be herpes, FYI) might have spread to Tucker's spine and caused transverse myelitis and the paralysis. He sets Tucker up with a room and some antiviral drugs. Well, I'm sure that will be that and Tucker will be just fine. Hopefully he won't celebrate with a BJ from Ashley.
Wilson tracks House down in some room full of crazy medical equipment, the Cottages, House's latest patient, and House himself. Chase and Hadley do an ultrasound on the patient's stomach as he groans in pain and says things in Spanish about his stomach and his mariachi band. This guy seems interesting. Too bad we have to spend the episode with Tucker. Wilson proudly tells House about his Housian diagnosis, but House rains on his parade and says it's wrong. He already knows all about Tucker's case thanks to a bribe he gave the redhead down in medical records, and in his opinion, Tucker has cancer. While Wilson absorbs this, House's patient whines that his stomach is being ripped open by "the Hand of God." So a cheating Argentinian soccer player ripped open the guy's stomach and then claimed that he did it with his head? Okay. Wilson refuses to believe Tucker has cancer despite House's insistence, saying all tests showed no signs of a recurrence. House thinks Wilson just doesn't want to see what the most likely cause of Tucker's condition is because he's his friend and also a really crappy oncologist. Always one to find opportunity in the misfortune of others, House decides to make some money off of Wilson's emotions and bets him $100 that Tucker has cancer. Wilson takes the bet as House diagnoses the patient with something having to do with him having a past as a tennis pro. Sorry, House, but that guy does not look like he was ever a tennis pro.