House
Words And Deeds

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Broken Arc Syndrome

Derek's having issues. Cameron kicks Amy out of the room while Derek gasps for breath. The Cottages assume there's something wrong with his lungs and prepare to act on that until Chase, who has been the only capable person on this show besides House for a few episodes now, actually looks at Derek's vitals and determines that he's having a heart attack. Wow, you guys, menopause is a real pain in the ass.

House tries to make a friend and asks Voldemort to pick a color from his fortune teller. Voldemort is not amused. He hands House his meds without picking a color. House tells his future anyway, which is: "You are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day." I'm guessing House didn't write those fortunes. Otherwise, I'd expect them to be more like the one a friend of mine got from a Panda Express fortune cookie once, which basically told her to go to the gym more often. Anyway, Voldemort still doesn't care. House takes his medicine.

Well well well! Looks like Chase was right about Derek. On two counts, actually: first, Derek was having a heart attack, and second, he had been having chest pain and not telling anyone about it. The chest pain was actually a bunch of mini-heart attacks, so, nice plan there, Derek. "Heart attacks can't cause you to reach out and choke someone," Cameron says, apparently refusing to believe that Derek might have been of sound mind and body when he strangled her and just didn't want to deal with her ass anymore. Lack of oxygen from the heart attacks could have triggered a rage response, Foreman says. Chase says they need to figure out what's causing the attacks. Of course, Cameron turns and heads for the rehab wing to see House. "I'm not gonna wait for Chase to give us another breakthrough," she says. Oooh, someone's jealous!

It's a double-dose of misery for House, who's either barfing or having to solve the Cottages' problems for them. Chase wisely suggests leaving House to his misery, but Cameron persists. "We don't have an answer yet," she barks. "I'm fine, by the way. Thanks for asking," House spits back at her. OH!! OH!!! In your FACE, Cameron! House whines that the medicine they're giving him to wean him off Vicodin sucks, then says that if there are no internal causes of Derek's heart attacks, then they're being caused by something external. The only thing Derek's attacks seem to have in common is that Amy was around during all of them.

Amy is pacing around PPTH's immaculate lobby with Derek's brother when Cameron walks up. She asks Amy to come with her so they can test a theory. Amy heads into Derek's room and asks what's going on. The answer is soon revealed, as he has another heart attack. House was right, and the Cottages can't believe it. I can't believe they basically set off a heart attack in one of their patients on purpose. That's kind of counter-productive. Although it's pretty much par for this show's course.

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House

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