House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 1585 USERS: B-
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The Illusionist

Now it's PS's turn to tell Cole not to fire him. He finds Cole in the lab, studying the results of the biopsy he was able to get without Flynn's bleeding out, unlike last time. PS hands him an ice cream sundae from the cafeteria, even though food is not allowed anywhere near labs. But he's saved the real bribe for an envelope full of money -- enough to pay for Cole's kid's school and the braces PS says he's going to need. How come everyone gets to see this kid except me? Forget all that crap about Thirteen and her shaky hands; I want to know what's up with Cole and where his kid's mother is. I want to know what Weird Beard is doing right now. I want to know what, exactly, pushed Random Guy to go crazy in the name of curing polio. These are all characters whose portrayers infuse them with enough life to make me care about their backgrounds and who aren't written to be perfect little Cam-clones I don't give a shit about. Just saying.

Meanwhile, Kumar and Thirteen are hanging out at the nicest blood bank I have ever seen, supervised by Foreman. Okay, so, when I worked at the hospital, I went to the blood bank a lot. It was this tiny room full of the same lab tables and equipment from the '60s that you'd find in the rest of the lab as well as my high-school science classrooms, but to me, it was a paradise. Because they let their employees play Solitaire on the computers. Meanwhile, I was back in the main lab with a computer that had Solitaire capabilities but faced out to the rest of the room, thereby making secret play impossible. The best room by far in that lab, by the way, was the cytology room, because they actually had windows. Unfortunately, their job was to examine pap smear slides all day, so they never got to really appreciate the sunlight. Plus, the cytology lab was staffed with old crones who told on me when I got a Sprite from the cafeteria and told the woman at the register it was water so I wouldn't have to pay for it. I know it was wrong, but I was protesting the recent price increase on the little peanut butter containers. Condiments are supposed to be free, people. Anyway, PPTH's blood bank is really nice, if dimly-lit, which would increase the chances of something going wrong there. House says that Flynn's biopsy came back inconclusive, so they'll have to biopsy some more organs to be sure. Unfortunately, that will cause massive bleeding. So House just wants to start treating Flynn for amyloidosis now and set up an appointment to irradiate his bone marrow. Thirteen protests that they need more time to test the tainted blood. Foreman agrees with her, overruling House. Yeah, he's been a little sensitive about unnecessarily irradiating someone's bone marrow ever since he killed that woman with a bra infection.

House

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