Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Illusionist

Kumar made sure to grab Cole to help him with Flynn, so that he can beg him not to nominate him for firing. Kumar reminds Cole of a bunch of stuff we had no idea he did, like babysitting Cole's kid and being Cole's friend. Meanwhile, these things have nothing to do with how good a doctor Kumar is. In fact, Kumar says that he's one of the worst doctors there and shouldn't be nominated, because Cole should be trying to eliminate the competition. With one last remark about taking Cole's kid to the zoo, Flynn starts seizing again, and his kidneys shut down. Despite this, Kumar takes a second to tell Cole that CTB is a racist. Okay, that was pretty funny. I'll give him that one.

While his patient dies, House plays foosball with Wilson in the lounge. He wonders whether Cole and Cuddy actually had sex. Wilson is more focused on House's attempt to "woo" Cuddy by forcing his employees to steal her underwear, which he understates is "creepy." I love it when Wilson brings the sense. House maintains that the panty raid was an "effective test," providing a defense to summer-camp-attending boys everywhere (do they still do panty raids? Did they ever? Not at the camp I went to, anyway, although that was probably because we were all too sick from the cake made out of mayonnaise they used to serve for dessert), and then Kumar and Thirteen enter the room to report that Flynn's kidneys are shutting down even though there's nothing in his history to indicate amyloidosis. Kumar thinks this means he was right about the tainted blood, but House says it doesn't explain Flynn's initial heart problem. He wants to start treating Flynn for amyloidosis, but, of course, that treatment is too dangerous to do without being absolutely sure the diagnosis is correct, as Wilson is quick to point out. Thirteen wants to go to the blood bank and check for contamination, and I'm sure they'll welcome her in there with open arms. Speaking of open arms, Thirteen holds her hand aloft for no reason other than for it to be super-visible to all when it shakes and she quickly hides it in her pocket. WHAT A MYSTERY! House gives them two hours to piss off the blood bank while Cole does some fat biopsy that will prove Flynn has amyloidosis. With that, House and Wilson return to their foosball game, and House tries to lie that his score is really high, but Wilson does not fall for it. He's long since learned to keep score in these games.

Now it's PS's turn to tell Cole not to fire him. He finds Cole in the lab, studying the results of the biopsy he was able to get without Flynn's bleeding out, unlike last time. PS hands him an ice cream sundae from the cafeteria, even though food is not allowed anywhere near labs. But he's saved the real bribe for an envelope full of money -- enough to pay for Cole's kid's school and the braces PS says he's going to need. How come everyone gets to see this kid except me? Forget all that crap about Thirteen and her shaky hands; I want to know what's up with Cole and where his kid's mother is. I want to know what Weird Beard is doing right now. I want to know what, exactly, pushed Random Guy to go crazy in the name of curing polio. These are all characters whose portrayers infuse them with enough life to make me care about their backgrounds and who aren't written to be perfect little Cam-clones I don't give a shit about. Just saying.

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