House

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The Illusionist

Meanwhile, Kumar and Thirteen are hanging out at the nicest blood bank I have ever seen, supervised by Foreman. Okay, so, when I worked at the hospital, I went to the blood bank a lot. It was this tiny room full of the same lab tables and equipment from the '60s that you'd find in the rest of the lab as well as my high-school science classrooms, but to me, it was a paradise. Because they let their employees play Solitaire on the computers. Meanwhile, I was back in the main lab with a computer that had Solitaire capabilities but faced out to the rest of the room, thereby making secret play impossible. The best room by far in that lab, by the way, was the cytology room, because they actually had windows. Unfortunately, their job was to examine pap smear slides all day, so they never got to really appreciate the sunlight. Plus, the cytology lab was staffed with old crones who told on me when I got a Sprite from the cafeteria and told the woman at the register it was water so I wouldn't have to pay for it. I know it was wrong, but I was protesting the recent price increase on the little peanut butter containers. Condiments are supposed to be free, people. Anyway, PPTH's blood bank is really nice, if dimly-lit, which would increase the chances of something going wrong there. House says that Flynn's biopsy came back inconclusive, so they'll have to biopsy some more organs to be sure. Unfortunately, that will cause massive bleeding. So House just wants to start treating Flynn for amyloidosis now and set up an appointment to irradiate his bone marrow. Thirteen protests that they need more time to test the tainted blood. Foreman agrees with her, overruling House. Yeah, he's been a little sensitive about unnecessarily irradiating someone's bone marrow ever since he killed that woman with a bra infection.

Fortunately, House has come up with a brilliant plan to test for tainted blood. He rolls up his sleeve and tells them to inject him with blood from the same donors who were used during Flynn's surgery. I'm not sure if that's even possible or accurate, since the blood could have been tainted after it came from the donor and before it was given to Flynn. But House is the same blood type as Flynn and he's got a death wish, so let's go!

Thirteen gets to set up the transfusion, which gives House the chance to ask her more about her stupid Mystery. He stole her wallet and saw a picture of a young woman in it he thinks is Thirteen's mother. The reason why she's so young in the picture, House guesses, is because she died young. That would also explain why Thirteen keeps a picture of her mother in her wallet. I mean, I love you and all, Mom, but I have to save my wallet space for the seventeen grocery-store club cards I have to get and my driver's license. Also, all my dollah dollah bills. Thirteen shrugs off her mother's death, saying Grover Cleveland is dead, too. Oh, but is he? Could this be leading up to a seven-episode story arc about a Zombie Grover Cleveland, played by special guest star James Gandolfini? Or are we just going to learn more about stupid Thirteen, like how her mother's obituary, which House Googled (I guess he entered "Thirteen mother dead obit" and got lucky), said she died after a long illness that I'm sure was fought bravely. I'll bet it also said "Twenty-Nine leaves behind her loving husband, Fifty-Seven, and daughter, Thirteen."

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House

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