Ted's apartment: Tony wants to use his wealthy and influential family's pull to get Ted a job as a professor of architecture at Columbia. Ted laughs bitterly, and says, "No thanks," and we flash forward to...

MacLaren's: Marshall can't believe Ted didn't accept. He'd be a great professor. He's knowledgeable, a "good talker" and when he needs to, he can grow a "handsome neck beard." Heh. Ted's all those who can do, do; those who can't, teach, only not in so many words, so he doesn't have a bunch of righteously angry teachers come at him with torches and pitchforks. The gang grumbles, but Ted's not going to take the job and demands a change of topic.

Barney obliges. He just got a $200 speeding ticket. Marshall rags on him because he couldn't talk his way out of it. When Barney claims you can't talk your way out of a ticket, we flash back to 1998. Marshall's getting a ticket from a Minnesota State Trooper. When the cop asks Marshall where the fire is, Marshall spots the guy's gut, and says the fire's at the barbecue to which he's headed, and there'll be burgers, ribs and brats (pronounced braahts, short for bratwurst), including one with Trooper Jorgesen's name on it. That changes everything. The trooper puts his ticket book away and tells Marshall to follow him and lean on the horn, "We're going to be running some reds." We flash forward to...

MacLaren's: Barney says he would have done likewise if he'd been on his way to a barbecue, but then d'oh he remembers he was. Marshall schools him on sizing up his opponent. In addition to the trooper being out of breath just from walking to Marshall's car, the mustard on his holster was a dead giveaway. Robin says, "Marshall Eriksen! Manipulating an officer of the law with your sausage? That is very hot." Marshall clicks his tongue and winks at her, and I think that it's a good thing NOBODY is there to get mad at them for flirting like that. Of course nobody flirts like NOBODY does, so maybe nobody would be in trouble here and now. Anyways, Barney jumps in with some bitch, please talk, and you know I adore Neil Patrick Harris, but this part was too over-the-top to recap. Suffice it to say, Barney (or the Sister-Friend pretending to be him) assures his friends he can talk his way out of a ticket, too. Ah, thank goodness, he's back to normal now. "If I can talk a stripper into paying me for a lap dance, I think I can talk my way out of a ticket." He looks at his friends. "Challenge accep-- wait for it..." They do, and he points at Ted, which makes everyone but Ted laugh. I guess he didn't wait long enough for it. When Ted says he doesn't get it, Barney gestures to his brain. Ted waits a little longer, and then says, "Oh! Ted. Accept-ted. I get it now." And we cut to...