Highway: Barney gets pulled over by an attractive female cop. When he turns on the charm, the cop takes off her helmet, shakes her hair free of its bonds, and unzips her uniform top while assuring Barney that while he's not under arrest, he's "about to be under [her]." Porn music plays as Barney gives two thumbs up to the camera and we cut to...

MacLaren's: Robin and Marshall recognize Barney's talked-my-way-out-of-a-ticket story for the porny fairy tale that it is. [I like that Marshall says he's seen that porno, and hell, he's made that porno -- if Lily's knowledge of porn is any indication, that's likely true. - Z] Barney swears up, down, and all around that he's not lying, but Saget!Ted informs us that he is, and we flash back to...

Ted's corridor: Again, Mrs. Marsten encourages Ted and Stella to kiss and make up. Once she's gone, Stella asks if there's anything she can do to make this better. As soon as Ted says, "No," his cell phone rings. His ringtone is Robin Sparkles' "Let's Go To The Mall," which all by its lonesome boosts this episode up into the B range. It's Barney on the phone, begging for Ted's help, because he's in terrible trouble. He's in a New Jersey jail for his 15th moving violation in three days. He's scared to death of the hardened criminals with whom he's sharing a cell, and no wonder. One of the thugs, who must be 13, at least, asks the cops if they're going to get their spray paint back. Hee. Ted tells Stella that if she wants to do something for him, she can drive him to Jersey to bail out Barney. Stella says, "Okay. You'll pay for tolls, right?" When Ted glares at her, Stella smiles and cops that she's just kidding. Oh, Stella -- how could Ted let a wit like you get away? We cut to...

A Police Station in New Jersey: Ted and Stella bail out Barney and drive all the way back to New York. When they drop Barney off, he says, "Oh, by the way, Ted, how's the girl you've been seeing -- that super-hot French chick with the big, enormous boobs?" Ted doesn't miss a beat. "Oh, you mean Claudette? Yeah, she's uh... she's fine." Barney says, "She's the hottest girl you have ever been with, Ted. EVER." He then looks Stella straight in the eye and tells her goodbye, but to give her her due, Stella plays along, even though she knows better.