Lily pulls out her list of baby names. Marshall hates Tara because of how obsessed he was with a girl by that name, the hottest girl in school. They even wrote songs about her. Flash horrifyingly to that. Marshall hates the name Esther because of a stripper he and Barney saw who did some disturbing things while naked. Marshall beckons Ted to the bar for a drink, where Ted points out Marshall's list is all boy names, and there is that possibility he could have a girl. Marshall can't even think about that, since he can't imagine being a girl's dad with the way guys treat them. Flash to his fantasy, in which dorks make up a song for his daughter; then one where she's stripping and he's trying to cover her with his coat. Marshall wonders what if she makes bad choices, and flashes to her dating a very old, plastic version of Barney, who asks her "Who's your daddy?" Marshall fantasy vomits. Back at MacLaren's, Marshall just wants a little boy! Ted tells the people around them that's not what it sounds like.
Marshall's Skyping or something with his mom and dad, seeking their sage counsel about his fears of having a girl. Marshall's dad sends his mom away and then explains to Marshall that having all boys wasn't a coincidence, since the Eriksen men have secrets to avoid having girls: Don't eat lemons (baby girl fertilizer). At work, Robin's reading reporting about a climate-change summit in Vienna, presumably on the air, when Becky scoots over and says she went on a tour of the city with a sweet man the previous day. She goes on that this "cutie patootie" took her to a bar called MacLaren's right underneath his apartment. Robin asks if it's Ted, and Becky laughs that it totally is. Robin reports that a Manhattan architect gets punched in the throat "later today."
Cut to Ted in pain, explaining that Becky actually came over to the apartment looking for Robin. She had chocolate chip cookies (but with gummy bears instead of chocolate chips, of course; that's just how baby girls make 'em), then saw a spider and freaked out. Robin guesses that she acted helpless and Ted got to be the big, strong man. Which is pretty much exactly what happened. Barney stumbles up to the table and tells Robin and Ted that talking like a little boy is not working with the ladies. Flash to Barney talking to ladies in a baby voice about their "tig ol' bitties" and other immature body comments.