It's Saturday in the late afternoon (which means that the gas guzzler Marshall and Daphne drove was the slowest vehicle on the planet) and now Marshall and baby Marvin are on a bus to Farhampton. And Marshall quickly becomes the worst passenger ever by oversharing every detail of his life and how he and his wife calm their child down for sleep by using rhyming verse (even though we never heard about this technique while he was visiting his family, or driving halfway across the country), and he does this all by rhyming. And while this is annoying, it's far better than having to watch what actually is happening at the wedding, and it gives us tales of yesteryear when we didn't actually hate these characters. Perhaps the next episodes could be done in iambic pentameter (preferably Deadwood-style) or haiku or maybe they could just get Marshall's fellow bus passenger Gus (played by In the Heights's Lin-Manuel Miranda) to do his patented fast-flowing spoken word as a narrator for the rest of the season. He's got to be more reliable than Ted at this point, and at least he has some qualms about telling children about hookups and blue balls.
So as Marshall tries to rhyme Marvin to sleep without his book (and clearly without thinking to download an eReader app on his phone), he first tells a tale of Ted that is like Casey at the Bat, but more about Ted trying to get laid by a pretty co-worker instead of hitting a baseball. Subtle, guys. Still, watching Ted swing, miss and strike out (because the young lady had fallen prey to Barney's "I'm really Derek Jeter even though I look nothing like him" scheme, and while they've both slept with Robin, apparently Ted thinks this is a step too far).
After Marvin is woken up by the loud bus driver, Marshall recalls the time that Robin ate an entire cake because she saw her ex-boyfriend (James van der Beek) buying a wedding cake, and she stole the dessert and freaked out. She forced down the entire multi-tier concoction and also made short work of the keg that Barney brought for the party of random onlookers who came to marvel at Robin's feat. This was easily the best of the stories, not only for Robin being simultaneously gross and amazing, but also because it prompted the aforementioned Gus to spout off a lyrical rap that made Canada somehow rhyme with janitor.
The last tall tale was our least favorite, though it did tie back to Barney bedding Ted's coworker. It involved a stupid Player King of New York City meeting where a multitude of Barney doppelgangers discuss districting and signature plays since Barney broke the code of ethics by going to the East Side and by using the Yankee move. Have we not already seen Barney carouse all over the five boroughs and pretend to be a variety of occupations? Dumb.
The whole thing ended with Marshall's bus breaking down and him deciding to walk the five miles to the Farhampton Inn, instead of, say, calling Ted or anyone. The whole rhyme thing was gimmicky and (some may argue) unnecessary filler, but it was still a lot more fun than last week's insufferable effort. And at this point, I'll take fun and happily skim over some of this wedding plotting. In fact, when Marshall said they were missing the rehearsal dinner, I nearly cheered, until I realized that it didn't mean that viewers would get to miss the rehearsal dinner… which is the plot of next week's episode. I'm going to try and enjoy Thanksgiving, because I've got a feeling that this on-screen dinner is a meal I'm going to want to forget.