After the commercial, Ted follows Barney from the kitchen to the living room, this time insisting Barney's in love with Robin, rather than asking if he is. Barney says that's crazy talk. "Can't a bro clean another bro's apartment like bros... do?" Ted asks him to name one bro in bro history who's done so. I yell out, "Felix Unger," but Barney's not listening. "I'll name two: Misters Clean and Belvedere." Ted explains that he and Robin have been totally casual, and he won't freak out if Barney has feelings for her. Barney denies it. "No. No, I don't. I don't, no. I don't. I don't. No. Robin is all yours, dude. Have fun with her." He sprays down Ted's table with cleaner, gives it a half-assed swipe, removes his gloves and heads for the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sleep with other girls."
Ted asks, "Are you sure?" Barney confirms that he is. Ted says, "Positive?"
Barney says, "Absolutely."
Cut to Barney sitting in a black chair that looks suspiciously like the one from "Little Minnesota." "And then I stormed out. Why did I do that? I mean, maybe it goes back to my father issues, but I basically gave my best friend license to have sex with the girl of my dreams. I totally sabotaged myself." He flicks open a silver lighter with his right hand and lights the cigarette he's holding with his left. "And now I'm smoking. Now I'm smoking." The camera pans back to reveal not a psychiatrist's office, not a dirty, skanky, surgically enhanced, Eastern European prostitute, but Lily's kindergarten class, in rapt attention. Lily, who is rocking the lovely pregnancy cleavage once again, growls at Barney to get out. He protests. "But it's feelings hour, and I'm holding Feely the Share Bear, and whoever's holding Feely the Share Bear gets to sit in the share chair."
Lily fumes. "Barney, this is not your private therapist's office. These kids have issues to talk about too, you know. Ben's parents are getting divorced." Little Ben perks up. "They are?" Horrified at her slip, Lily quickly (but not deftly) changes the subject to coloring, and we cut to...
Barney's office. He's fiddling with his Bluetooth and still holding Feely the Share Bear when Marshall enters his office with a big smile. Barney assumes Lily sent him to take back the bear, and he's so not giving it up. Marshall remains silent, so Barney asks him why he's smiling. It seems Marshall just "read a magazine" at work. He's so proud of himself, it's like a little kid who finally mastered the potty. Marshall explains that when he caught himself looking at hotel rates, he decided it was time to let go of his hang-ups and do what he had to do, and once he decided thusly, everything changed.