Saget!Ted starts out by telling his kids what he's told them about 100 times so far: Blah blah blah love story blah. This time, though, he sets up the two big days in any love story: the day you meet and the day you get married. Then we jump to a wedding "a little ways down the road," where Ted's nervous and Marshall gives him a beer. Then we jump back to the present -- which is actually the future, if we're starting out where we ended last season (then again, do we even want to think about last season? I didn't think so) -- with Ted and a different beer at MacLaren's while preparing a lesson plan or somesuch. Barney joins him, quickly finds out he's eyeing a blonde at the bar, and tells him not to be nervous because, well, Barney has dibs. There's an entire episode's worth of bickering and bantering about this, but somehow it's funny and charming like the How I Met Your Mother days of old.
Midway through their bickering, Marshall and Lily come in -- though it's baby-making night, there's a fight and no baby-making so far because Marshall told his dad (and everyone in the world) about the baby-making. Robin also comes in, looking haggard over her recent breakup with Don. (There's some small moment in semi-flashback in which she tries to have sex with Ted, but she looks like such a wreck that even he's not tempted.) Marshall and Lily head to their own table against the wall to argue, while Ted, Barney and Robin debate whether the hot girl is Ted's, Barney's, or waiting for a date. Then her friend shows up, and it's none other than Cindy, Your Mother's roommate. So, of course, this must be the roomie, right? Well, Cindy finally talks to Ted and thanks him for the drama before, because it helped her realize who she was and says it wouldn't even be weird for her to set him up with someone. She asks him to say "bye" before he leaves, and he, Robin and Barney agree he's "so in." Somewhere in the middle of all of this, Robin cleans up her Pig-Pen look and impresses Barney back into basically loving her, it seems. In the end, when Ted moves toward saying goodbye to Cindy and meeting the mother, Cindy kisses her instead, and we learn she's not the mother, but Cindy's future wife. Shocker! Ted helped a girl discover she's a lesbian. Lily and Marshall also make up and go upstairs for some baby-making.
We jump back to the wedding in the future, as Saget!Ted tells us he met the mother at a wedding. Marshall asks him if he's nervous about his toast, and then Lily comes out in a bridesmaid dress and says the best man is needed. Marshall and Ted get up and head inside, as it starts to rain. They talk about an umbrella (let me guess: the yellow one's inside?), and head in to meet the mother and help marry off someone -- presumably Robin and Barney? But why would Cindy's former roommate be at their wedding and Ted hadn't met her before? Someone's date? Or did Cindy bring her to introduce her to Ted? Or are we supposed to forget the mother is her roommate and start over from scratch? At this point, I don't really care. I'm just glad the show's funny again.
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So, first of all, hi, I'm here. Cindy McLennan left us, and went to a better place (that place being one in which she can enjoy this show when it's good and not care when it's bad because she's not stuck with it; oh, and also, that place is Vampire Diaries, duh). Saget!Ted tells his kids (his daughter's now on Nikita, if you didn't notice) there are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the girl of your dreams and the day you marry her (you know, unless you don't dream about girls). Flash "a little ways down the road..." to a wedding, with a marquee out front that says, "To every thing there is a season." Because funeral sayings are always nice greetings at weddings. [They are when they're a sly comment form the showrunners that this season is the one we've been waiting for. - Zach] Anyway, so the assumption here is that we're at Ted's wedding, which is odd since we haven't even seen that first day yet, of his meeting. Ted's sitting in a tux when Marshall joins him and gives him a beer. Ted thanks Marshall for fixing church, and then Marshall asks Ted if he's nervous, since he's peeling his beer label.
A quick side swipe takes us to the present, where Ted's grading papers at MacLaren's and peeling his beer label. Barney joins him with a sad, sad story about New York: He just saw a girl in a sweater! That means the season of exposed skin is over. No more tank tops, cute skirts or sun dresses. Ted tells him he needs to work, but first Barney riddles him about sun dresses -- clearly Barney's favorite women's clothing. Barney notices Ted's getting peely with his beer label and asks what he's nervous about. Ted finally admits there's a hot girl at the bar, saying "DON'T look," but Barney does with a quick, obvious, evil Gollum turn toward her. Then he turns back and tells Ted there's nothing to be nervous about with this one. Why? "Dibs." Oh, that Barney is a rascal. Ted doesn't think it's fair for Barney to call dibs on a girl he's been thinking about all night, because his dibs were implied. Barney scoffs about "Implied dibs?" and starts to make up a story about dib inventor Sir Walter Dibs. But Ted has no time for a fake history lesson, so he'll see Barney in court. But Barney calls dibs on Marshall as his lawyer.
You might wonder where Marshall and Lily are, and if you are Saget!Ted's kids you will be told creepy stories about your aunt and uncle wanting to make a baby. They have the candles and the music to set the mood (soft sounds) and the music for actual baby-making time (banjo music). Lily's readying it all at home and Marshall's getting ready to leave work.