How I Met Your Mother

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: A- | 1362 USERS: B+
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Swiper, No Swiping

Ted is upset to realize that Blitz was there, too, at which point Blitzy comes out of the kitchen wearing the top hat and doing the "Gentlemen" shtick. He tells Ted that he was there for the whole night, because he had a gut feeling that Grand Theft Auto could wait a night. Per Barney, it was "Legen-wait-for-Ted-to-leave-because-he's-now-the-Blitz-dary." Marshall says that Ted's departure changed the course of blitztory. Cue bar scene where Hurley sighs out a cloud of smoke whispering the word "Blitz." That cloud heads directly upstairs to Ted's room, and nearly chokes him. Hurley says that he's glad to be free, because he missed so many things. Such as: the university president's toupée being snatched by a hawk during their graduation ceremony; his cousin Ira's bar mitzvah, crotch shots, double rainbows... all the good stuff. In fact, his name isn't Blitz, it's Steve. He jokes that colors seem so bright now. Then he hugs newBlitz Ted.

Ted is still stuck on the fact that his supposed friends hung out with Zoey. By friend law, at least in this universe, if a friend hates someone, everyone has to hate them. Ted hated Renee Zellweger at Lily's behest, only to realize she meant Reese Witherspoon. When Lily says she still does, because of You, Me & Dupree, he realizes that she really hates Kate Hudson, which only adds to his anger. Calm down, Ted. All this rage isn't good for your heart. He goes back to his Turturkeykey quest, but makes everyone go into the kitchen with him, so he doesn't miss anything. When he goes to preheat the oven, the door falls off. Apparently, while Ted was sleeping there was a drunken rave happening his kitchen and Zoey dared Robin to dance on the oven. Everyone looks very sheepishly at him.

How I Met Your Mother

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