How I Met Your Mother

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Angel Cohn: A- | 1 USERS: A
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Swiper, No Swiping

Fast-forward to Thanksgiving morning, where Ted comes out of his bedroom to see his pals lying in random positions over his trashed living room. Robin comes out, with full KISS makeup and says good morning to Mr. Blitz. "Aw, man." He then tries to say he's not the Blitz, but Barney and Marshall start singing "My Blitz-y Lies Over the Ocean" to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean." He tries to stop them, but they must finish butchering the Scottish folk tune. Lily then wakes up and says "The Gentleman," at which point everyone raises their hands and bows with quite a flourish while shouting, "The Gentleman" loudly. This is apparently a gimmick they picked up the night before, and Ted is not pleased that he's left out of the in-joke. He pouts and heads into the bathroom, where he hears a yawn from the tub; it's Zoey, who greets him by calling him "Blitz."

After the credits, we see Zoey grabbing her coat and heading out. She thanks the crew for an amazing night, and then does "The Gentleman" gag on her way out the door. Ted wants to know why his best friends let his arch-nemesis sleep in his tub.

Lily explains: The night before at the bar, Zoey walked in and Lily was already to take that bitch down, since any enemy of Ted's is an enemy of hers. They started brainstorming ways to torture her. Barney's involves candlewax, but he's not aware of Ted's hatred for the girl. Lily decides to steal her scarf. She not-so-subtly sneaks over, and then gets busted. When she introduces herself, Zoey realizes that she's Lily Aldrin the painter, and apparently Zoey's the only one to ever buy anything of Lily's. She's really a patron of the arts.

Robin apologizes, but says they had an awesome night with her. Flashback to the night before, and Zoey is tossing a top hat on Marshall's head. And there was a dog on a skateboard. And then they all played Truth or Dare. Marshall's up first, but Lily won't let him do truth. Oh, I wonder what dirty little secrets those two have. So he gets dared by Zoey to send a picture of his junk to a random phone number. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but present-day Marshall says that if the random stranger's phone was on vibrate when the message arrive, he basically dry-humped them. But the night before, when they are deciding on the digits, The Blitz walks in and spouts off some numbers that will ring familiar to any good Lost fan. 4-8-15-16-23-42.

Ted is upset to realize that Blitz was there, too, at which point Blitzy comes out of the kitchen wearing the top hat and doing the "Gentlemen" shtick. He tells Ted that he was there for the whole night, because he had a gut feeling that Grand Theft Auto could wait a night. Per Barney, it was "Legen-wait-for-Ted-to-leave-because-he's-now-the-Blitz-dary." Marshall says that Ted's departure changed the course of blitztory. Cue bar scene where Hurley sighs out a cloud of smoke whispering the word "Blitz." That cloud heads directly upstairs to Ted's room, and nearly chokes him. Hurley says that he's glad to be free, because he missed so many things. Such as: the university president's toupée being snatched by a hawk during their graduation ceremony; his cousin Ira's bar mitzvah, crotch shots, double rainbows... all the good stuff. In fact, his name isn't Blitz, it's Steve. He jokes that colors seem so bright now. Then he hugs newBlitz Ted.

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How I Met Your Mother

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