Ted marvels at all of Loretta's lies, but Lily says all parents do it. Marshall's mom would say he was sick if he was hyper, so she could give him cough medicine and he'd go to sleep. Marshall thinks that stunted his growth, since he hit 6-4 in fifth grade and then stopped growing. Lily says the biggest parental lie of all, though, is Santa, of course. Marshall says that's a good lie, like telling Ted he'll meet the right girl and settle down. Ted admits he does find that reassuring. Lily heads down the stairs telling Marshall she's not lying to their kids, even about Santa. But Marshall wants to lie to their kids about Santa. There's a whole debate and discussion of how Marshall gave Santa lutefisk and milk instead of cookies and milk, because Santa needs protein, not a sugar crash. Sounds sensible enough. Plus, you know, it is hard to gauge the ridiculousness of what to leave as a snack for a mythical character.
Wayne and Barney discuss all the Valentines Barney used to get. Wayne thinks it's funny they all have the same handwriting as each other, the postmaster general, and their mom. Then they find an unsent letter their mom wrote to someone named Sam Gibbs and open it up. It's a picture of them both as little kids and, on the back, it says, "Your son." When Loretta comes in with sloppy joes for lunch, Wayne's like, "Mom, who's Sam Gibbs?" She squeaks for a moment, then says, "That doesn't sound familiar." Then she quickly makes up a lie that the back of the photo says "Yourson," for "Yourson, North Dakota," where they were in the picture. She says they rescued the mayor's dog there and she promised to send him a picture to make a statue, but guesses she never did. Wayne asks her why their swing set is in the picture if it was taken in North Dakota, and she says she doesn't know, then freaks out and leaves the room. Wayne: "Can you believe her?" Barney: "I know. Forgetting to send the photo. Those statues probably look nothing like us." Wayne, Lily, and Marshall look at Barney in amazement.
Back in a bedroom, Robin says she fixed her overselling of Ted to Liz by sending her another email: "Dear Liz, I hope it didn't sound like I was trying to oversell Ted. The truth is, he is a genuinely nice, down-to-earth guy, and I think you two would hit it off." Ted thanks her for that, but Robin's not done yet. "Is he gonna rock your world in bed? No. But he's clean, open to criticism and not into anything too weird. He's not bad at all. Not bad at all." Ted starts to say she went too far, but she's still not done. "I'll be honest: The first few times aren't gonna be that great. He's going to say, 'Are you finished?' more times than a waiter in a busy restaurant." He stops her, and I wonder how she's been helping pack if she wrote that long of an email on her phone.